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~~((National Do Something Nice Day Special -- Page 5 of 24))~~
When the next sign arrived, it was the largest yet, displaying an enormous wall of text.

"OKAY, SO HEAR ME OUT: I WANT AN ARASABA. Y'KNOW, ONE OF YOUR SUPER COOL LION-FAIRY-BEASTS? THAT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY. AND ALSO, TEN BUCKETS OF YOUR BEST ICE CREAM. COOKIES 'N CREAM FLAVORED. I'VE HEARD YOU GUYS HAVE STARTED MAKING AMAZING ICE CREAM IN RECENT YEARS, BUT I'VE YET TO TRY IT. THIRDLY, I WANT TO PLAY WITH THE SUNSMITH'S FANCY NEW ARMOR. JUST FOR A BIT. I'LL GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, PROMISE. OH, AND BRING ME THE COUNTRY'S BIGGEST RUBBER BAND. FOR KEEPING, I MEAN. I WON'T BE GIVING THAT BACK. ALSO, BUILD ME A SAND CASTLE HERE IN THE DESERT. A REALLY BIG AND ELABORATE ONE. IT'S OKAY IF IT BLOWS AWAY IN THE WIND, THOUGH. I JUST WANT TO TAKE SOME PICTURES WITH IT FOR MY SCRAPBOOK."

About halfway through, Asad began to wonder if he really needed to read it all. He kept his response short and sweet, not wanting to discourage further rambling. "ANYTHING ELSE?"

"YES, BUT TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THOSE, FIRST."

Well, damn.

'He doesn't actually believe that arasaba are real, does he?' said Qorvass.

'Who knows?' said Asad. 'Maybe that's the point. To make impossible demands.'

'Challenge him on it,' said the reaper. 'Keep him talking.'

It was as good a plan as any other, Asad felt. "ARASABA DO NOT EXIST," read his next sign.

"THAT'S WHAT SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO HIDE THEM FROM ME WOULD SAY."

Asad honestly didn't know what to say to that. And as he was deliberating, another sign arrived.

"IF ALL OF THAT IS TOO UNREASONABLE, HOWEVER, THERE IS ONE OTHER THING THAT WILL SUFFICE."

Ah. Was this where Morgunov steered the conversation back to Ivan? "AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?"

"YOU, ASAD NAJIR."