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"I'm sure the Vanguard has valuable intel about the state of the world, right now," said Damian. "That's intel we may need."

'Good thing we've got other ways of acquiring it, then,' said Overra. 'And what about you? How's your network of contacts, currently?'

"...Serviceable," said Damian.

'If you've been able to keep tabs on us with it, then I suspect it's better than merely serviceable.'

"I'm not making any promises after going mad for half a century."

And again, Parson found himself circling back to the point that he'd been trying not to dwell on. "...Are you implying that you're cured now?" he said.

"No," said Damian. But then he paused. "I don't know. Truth be told, I can still feel it. The memories are vibrant. It wasn't some other personality like... Jonah struggled with. It was me. And yet now, I... agh, it's difficult to explain."

'Try,' said Overra. 'Do you feel like yourself again?'

"Not exactly. I feel like someone new. I feel more in control than I've ever been, sure, but I also can't forget the..." He trailed off.

Parson had to push him. "Can't forget what?"

The other man leveled a stare at him. "The things I saw."

Impulsively, Parson wanted to ask what he meant, but he stopped himself. He instead had a very sudden and strong feeling that he already knew exactly what Damian was talking about--or a close approximation of it, perhaps.

Parson had his own encounter with the otherworldly, after all. With non-existence in the realm of Chaos. Or the Void. Or whatever it was called.

It hadn't amounted to much, of course, but he'd never forgotten the time he touched that black sludge on the outskirts of Montero in Korgum.

Which also had happened to be his very first encounter with the name Ettol.

Certainly not a coincidence, now that he was looking back on it.

But in his encounter, Parson had merely looked at the madness that lay within Chaos. A detached observer. It hadn't affected him in the slightest. He'd even felt disappointed by it, somehow.

But now... seeing what had become of Damian...

He could understand how lucky he had been at that time. How close he'd gotten to losing himself.

It was now quite easy to imagine what might have happened if he'd been fully immersed in those sights at the time--if he hadn't felt so safely detached.

Not to mention, there was probably so much more that Damian had witnessed, too. Things that Parson couldn't even begin to conceptualize.

Page 4043

'Because you're not thinking straight, right now,' she said. 'We've done many good things, Parson.'

He shook his head. "Have we, really?"

'Of course we have. Don't let your failures blind you. What have you always told the new recruits to the CID?'

Hmph. He didn't even want to answer that. Having his own words weaponized against him in a moment of weakness? That was low, even for Overra.

Damian answered for him, though. "'We exist in a space between black and white. In a world of grays. But that doesn't mean the extremes don't exist at all. It just means they're more difficult to keep track of, sometimes.'"

Parson stared at him. "How do you even know that?"

"What, you think I haven't been keeping tabs on you?"

'Having everyone think we're dead has had its advantages,' said Feromas. 'Thankfully, we didn't waste ALL of that opportunity.'

'Don't lose heart now,' said Overra. 'We're finally nearing the goal line, after all these years. We got so close this time, and on the next attempt, we'll do even better.'

Parson was far from convinced, though. "Shallow words. Do we even care about Morgunov, anymore? After everything we've just learned?"

"Good question," said Damian, earning a bit of surprise from Parson. "These Primordials seem like they might be an even greater threat than Abolish. And we still barely know anything about them."

'You would have us abandon our centuries-long quest?' said Overra.

"For now," said Damian. "It's not like we're in any condition to mount another attack. I say we take this opportunity not just to lick our wounds but also to learn as much as we can about this other threat."

'That's not your sympathy for Morgunov talking, is it?'

"Please."

'You ARE one of his pupils, after all.'

'One of his test subjects,' said Feromas. 'Don't question our loyalty to the cause, Overra.'

'Oh, I'm going to be questioning a lot more than just that, old friend. You'd best get used to it, if we're going to be sticking together for any length of time.'

'Hah. Are we, though? Or shall we go our separate ways again? It won't look good for you, if you're seen with us. We're still associated with Abolish, technically.'

'True, but we also have plenty of enemies within the Vanguard ourselves. Parson and I should return and report back, but that can be delayed. And I don't think we would want to stay long, either.'