Thursday, May 1, 2014

Page 661

--donation bonus week (day 3/5, post 3/5)--
Voreese looked up suddenly. ‘Roman, I think I’m receiving a message from the afterlife. Someone’s traveled for eons upon eons through null space and infinity, doing the impossible, all so they could tell you something...

“Is that right?” said Roman dryly.

They’re saying... that you should... fuck off.


Now they’re thanking me and telling me how worthwhile their journey was. And now they’re gone.

“You put way too much thought into that,” said Roman.

...Said no one ever in regard to anything you’ve ever done.’

“I don’t overthink things. I’m okay with that.”

Oh, yeah. Nevermind that it got you fucking killed before.

Roman shrugged. “Well, that’s why I have you now.”

A ripple of awkward looks washed over everyone.

“What?” said Roman.

That was nearly a compliment,’ said Garovel.

Yeah. Don’t compliment me, you fuck.

“You’re a lovely person, Voreese.”

Agh! Quit it!

“Uh--er... um...”

They all turned to watch Hector struggle through his next sentence.

“Ah, eh... I was just wondering... were there, um... any other reasons why we, uh... er, why you wanted us to choose Warrenhold? Because, er--ah...”

Garovel helped him out. ‘Good question. This place isn’t exactly in the best condition, and it’s going to be extremely expensive to restore. If we’d picked a different castle, then we would’ve had an easier time, I’m sure.

Ha. Well, there are a lot of reasons, but allow me to paint you a picture first. You remember the Redwater Uprising, yeah?

Of course.’ Garovel looked at the two curious servants. ‘An extremely bloody rebellion that went on for more than half a century. It was one of the major contributing factors to the Mohssian Empire’s collapse.

Hector just nodded gratefully.

Yeah, what he said,’ said Voreese. ‘Stasya was long gone by then, but during those fifty years, this fucking castle weathered six different sieges. SIX. Okay? And we’re not talking tiny little fortnight sieges here. We’re talking two or three years each. It was ridiculous. There were three separate kings that took refuge here AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME, because it was basically the only safe place left for them.

“Holy shit,” said Roman.


  1. I love Roman and Voreese so much. :)

    "allow me [to] paint you a picture first."

  2. It was one [of] the major contributing factors to the Mohssian Empire’s collapse.’

  3. "As You Know" by proxy. Interesting. And that must have been a fascinating experience to say the least, having three kings over for dinner for a couple of years.

  4. Thank Frost for ignorant protagonists

  5. This trope was averted, although I did think bout it at first. Hector and Roman don't know what Reese is talking bout. Had it just been Reese and Garovel, As You Know would have been in full effect

  6. I *ship* Roman and Reese

    I'm an odd lil duckling, I know

  7. Reese confirmed Tsundere

    I'm keep thinking of Warrenhold as Helm's Deep lol