--donation bonus (day #22, post 1/5)--
Hector looked to his mother again. “Were you expecting someone?” he whispered.
She shook her head.
‘I only sense one soul waiting on the other side of the door.’ Garovel grabbed Hector’s shoulder, sending fresh waves of vigor through his body. ‘It’s not someone we’ve met before.’
Hector set his helmet down and moved toward the door. Through the tiny scope, he saw a man in a black cap and coat. Not someone he’d seen before, just as Garovel said. He held up a hand for both his mother and Garovel, a silent request to stay where they were. He cracked the door open and looked through.
“Hello,” the man said, “my name is--” His eyes widened as they lingered upon Hector’s face. Metal clapped around his mouth, and Hector grabbed him by the collar to pull him into the room.
The door eased shut again, and Hector dragged the man into the bathroom and forced him to sit on the toilet.
“Who are you?” Hector said lowly. He annihilated the iron so the man could answer.
“I’m just a courier! The prince told me to ask the woman in this room to come see him! I don’t know why! Oh, goddess! Please don’t hurt me!”
“The prince?” Hector’s brow lowered. “Which prince?”
“Prince David! Here!” He retrieved a cellphone from his coat. “Call him! You’ll see! It’s the number at the top of the list!
“Calm down,” said Hector. He tried to make his voice sound gentle, but the man only seemed to go paler. “As long as you don’t try anything... I’m not going to hurt you. Please... just relax.” He couldn’t tell if the man believed him or not. He backed up toward the bathroom’s entrance, keeping the courier in sight, and found the number in the phone. After a couple rings, the prince answered.
<“Is it done?”>
Hector glanced between the courier and the reaper.
‘Don’t just hang up,’ Garovel advised him. ‘Tell him who you are and that you have his man hostage. See what information you can get out of him.’
A dark serial novel. Set in a modern fantasy world called Eleg. Mature language. Updates every night at midnight PST by ~400 words.
First of the ten donation days to come. Will be a new page every five hours today.
ReplyDeleteAlso, apparently Web Fiction Guide had an outage with its host servers yesterday. If you submitted a review over these past few days, it was lost before it even got posted. And since I just so happened to ask for reviews a few days ago, I'm not sure if anyone submitted anything for TZK, so I just wanted to double check here to be sure. If you did submit something, then I'm sorry and I know it's annoying, but please resubmit. Top Web Fiction lost a bunch of votes, too, but that's not as big of a deal.
Links are at the top right side of the site, if you need them.
A couple little typos:
ReplyDelete"I only sense one soul waiting on [the] other side of the door."
"Garovel grabbed Hector’s shoulder, send fresh waves of vigor through his body."
Sounds weird. Either "and send fresh waves" or "sending fresh waves".
"The prince told me [to] ask the woman"
"After a couple rings, the prince answered"
The sentence is missing the period... full stop... the thing at the end of a sentence. Missing its period sounds like the sentence is pregnant or something.
Haha, all fixed, thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnd my apologies for the sloppiness. Seems I should've given this post another once over.
uhh... I know this page was months ago, but
ReplyDelete"The prince told me [ask to] the woman in this room..."
"ask" and "to" are mixed up. yeah...
Thanks for the catch. Fixed now.
ReplyDeleteAlso, no need to be hesitant. Old typos are definitely still important to me. Apart from just wanting a typo-free story, it's also helpful for when I'm compiling the the story into ebooks.
David! Yes!
ReplyDelete