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~~((The National Ice Cream Day Special -- page 6 of 15))~~
'Yeah, yeah,' said Voreese. 'Always with the noble excuses, eh? You sure you weren't just spoiling for a fight?'

Mevox snorted. 'I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand such difficult concepts as "having your friend's back" or "acting honorably." That would require you to know what camaraderie and integrity actually feel like, wouldn't it?'

'Do they feel anything like having to listen to some loudmouthed douche yammer on self-righteously for ages? Because if so, then I think I'd rather not know.'

'Tell me, Voreese. Are you an insufferable bitch to everyone you meet, or am I just special?'

'Well, you're definitely not special, so it must be the first one.'

'I can believe that. But y'know, when you tell me I'm not special, it kinda makes me think that I am.'

'Oh yeah?'

'Yeah. As in, perhaps the lady doth protest too much, hmm?'

'Hah! And he's a narcissist, too! Talk about putting a shit-flavored cherry on top of a turd sandwich.'

'I'll have you know that I am extremely humble.'

'Oh, my apologies, then. If you say you're humble, then I guess it must be true.'

'No, no, I said EXTREMELY humble. Important difference.'

'If by "important," you mean the exact opposite of that, then yes.'

'Well, if you were paying attention, then the exaggeration would've made it clear to you that I was joking.'

'Yeah, but were you? Just because you joke about your own massive flaws doesn't mean they stop existing.'

'Hmm, I guess you would know all about that, wouldn't you?'

'And what the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?'

'Oh, just that you're full of horrible characteristics that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.'

'Ah, and I bet you've got plenty of enemies to choose from, now don't you?'

'Heh, well, we can't all be as warm and cuddly as you are, my dear.'