Monday, June 9, 2014

Page 725 -- LXXXII.

At length, Mariana finally had to urge the reapers along. “Shenado...”

I know,’ the reaper said, turning heavily toward her. ‘We are out of time.

Mariana breathed deeply and took a seat next to the hearth. She gazed into the fire therein. She’d lit it herself. She hadn’t sat next to an open flame like this in years. The crackling warmth summoned images of her childhood, of her humble parents, of their quaint home, of a plump mass of fur called Polly with those floppy ears and big, soft eyes. ‘Thank you for everything you’ve done for me,’ Mariana thought. ‘I never did say that enough.

You never needed to,’ said Shenado, wrapped in the echo of privacy. ‘Do you have any last words?

Mariana considered turning to her girls right then and telling them that she loved them. But she didn’t want to. She’d never liked saying it, which was perhaps a shame, because saying it now would only make things harder for herself. And for the girls, too, probably. And it didn’t really matter, anyway. Because they already knew. They had to. So she decided to hold her tongue. Instead, she thought, ‘For Zeff, if you ever see him again, tell him... I’ve decided that it wasn’t a mistake.

What wasn’t a mistake?

He will understand.

Shenado nodded solemnly. She moved closer.

Mariana watched the fox’s claws reach toward her face. And as she felt her life leave her, she heard Shenado’s tremulous parting words.

Goodbye, my sweet girl...

And the echo faded.

Chapter Eighty-Two: ‘Precious might, accrue now...’
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It was a nice change, being able to return from a night’s patrol without having earned himself dozens of blood stains and bullet holes. He’d been starting to run out of wearable clothes again.

“Welcome back, sir.”

“Oh, ah... th-thank you...” Hector stopped in the doorway to pull his dark coat off. He was surprised to find Jamal still awake at this hour. “You, um... you really don’t have to call me sir, Mr. Easton.”

The tall guardsman looked at him evenly. “Begging your pardon, sir, but I disagree.”

Hector frowned and tilted his head at him. “Why?”


  1. It was nice change > was a nice

    For Zeff, if you ever see him again > Wile this is not a typo, it is perhaps ambiguous given that she is giving up her life. If she does not believe in her heart that he will return, then she is willingly making her childern orphans. That turns this from an act of love, to the selfishness of not wanting to live with the guilt of out living her child.

    You can remove that ambiguity by making it read. > For Zeff, WHEN you see him again

  2. Farewell, Mariana.
    And I think it's more a parental instinct, to sacrifice herself to save her child, not selfish. After all, things are dangerous, and Zeff may not survive.

  3. HA. I FIXED THAT ONE BEFORE YOU TOLD ME TO. I WIN. Nevermind that I allowed it to be there in the first place. That's not important.

    Ah, but the second one. That is as it should be. Whether or not Mariana is making the decision for the right reasons is arguable. Is it wholly selfless? Does it even need to be? Is it wholly selfish, then? Can it rightly be said that the act of giving one's life for a loved one is entirely selfish? And it's not like she's leaving them without anyone to look after them. So... YEAH.


  4. I agree with you, it is only natural that a parent would risk their life for that of their child. If Zeff does survive he will most like seek revenage.

  5. All hail hector I've missed you.

  6. He should concentrate on protecting his kids getting emotional is what got them into this mess in the first place.

  7. Don't worry George. We aren't judging her. WE'RE JUDGING YOU, YOU SOULLESS MONSTER!

    Also, George.... Don't say you win. Just don't. I know you must be ecstatic, but you "winning" will just give us readers more work.
    We will have to start counting every mistake. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
    At the moment it's probably..... Let's say:
    George - 1
    Readers - 10,000

  8. Personally, I want to know why Hector has come home wearing clothes covered in blood and bullet holes the previous nights. Or perhaps that's just the previous plot arcs taking their toll on his wardrobe.

  9. Dude, tone it down. Your acting like a jerk. This sweet guy is nice enough to post this story free for anyone to read and you act as if he owes you something. If you can't show him some basic respect, then just be silent.

  10. Oh, no, Avid isn't being a jerk. Though, I suppose I can see how you'd interpret it that way. But I assure you, it's all in good fun. And besides, I know Avid enjoys the story from all the other comments he or she leaves.

  11. Yeah, it's a reference to previous plot arcs.

  12. All in good fun. :)
    I find your story to be better than most paper novels I read. It's also more engaging and always fun to read the comments.

  13. That is one of the great things about this type of ongoing story. the writer has the power to incorporate the readers info in to the story somewhat making the readers feel like they have a say in the world and as such are more invested in it

  14. I must not cry.

  15. ;-; the feels man, the fucking feels. Well anyway i'm happy to see what Hector is up too