Page 1534

((The 14 pages of Valentine's Day + Double Wednesday -- Page 3 of 16))
‘I’m guessing that didn’t work out too well for him,’ said Hector.

‘Actually, it worked out incredibly well,’ said Garovel.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Yep. Amordiin was able to successfully disguise himself as his own “villain.” And then he staged a “rescue” of the princess while she was nearby, so she was able to hear but not see what was going on. So he saved her from himself and became a hero, praised by all.’

‘...I don’t know if I believe you, Garovel.’

‘I’m telling you, it’s true. It was a whole big thing among us reapers for a while, because there weren’t many servants around in Vantalay at the time. Certainly not any interventionist types. We were just there, exercising our neutrality, ferrying souls, and watching this horse’s ass take over the kingdom. It was amazing to witness. Like a soap opera long before television was invented.’

‘Wait, he TOOK OVER the kingdom?’

‘Oh yeah. You didn’t think the story was done, did you? Once he became a hero, that was just the first step. He steadily increased his fame, doing all kinds of ridiculous and unsavory shit, until eventually, he ascended to the throne himself and became its new king.’

Hector eyed the black cloth in his hand. ‘How does the scarf fit into all this?’

‘He was always wearing that, no matter what he was doing. Even in the bath, he didn’t take it off.’

Hector wasn’t sure he wanted to keep holding it all of a sudden. ‘Ew.’

‘Oh, it’s fine. This was seven hundred years ago. Or eight. Or five. I’m fuzzy on the timeline, but the point is, he considered this scarf to be very valuable. And who knows? Maybe it’ll help us mimic his success.’

‘I don’t know if I want be like that guy, Garovel...’

‘Oh, don’t get me wrong. He was a piece of shit. I’m not saying you should consider him a role model.’

‘Hmm. Was he a bad king?’

‘That’s debatable. As with pretty much any ruler, he did some good things and some bad things. And during his reign of thirty or so years, Vantalay was peaceful.’

‘I’m sensing a “but” on the way...’

‘But... as he got older, he became rather ruthless and enacted a few policies that his subjects didn’t agree with. He was ultimately overthrown and beheaded in front of his family.’

‘Holy fuck.’

‘Yeah, it was pretty awful.’

‘Do you know any stories that DON’T end in gruesome death?’

Garovel tilted his head upward as he thought about it. And kept thinking about it.

‘Garovel?’

‘Yeah, no, they pretty much all end in gruesome death. The only ones that don’t--well. They haven’t finished yet.’

‘Wow, that’s... great, Garovel. Real comforting.’

‘What do you want from me? I’m a reaper of death, not a children’s author.’

Hector decided to try and get the conversation back on track. ‘You still haven’t explained what makes the scarf so special.’

‘Oh, that? I dunno.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me, Garovel? What was the point of telling me that whole story, then?’

‘There needed to be a point?’

‘Agh...’