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--Non-donation bonus in order to make up for poopy February (Page 2 of 3)--
‘God-fucking-dammit,’ said Reza privately. ‘Why couldn’t she just let us go to Jesbol with that dickhole Miles?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘I don’t want to go to fucking Korgum!’

‘So you’ve told me. Several times now.’

‘Why are you so calm?! Do you even realize how much of a shitfest that place is right now?!’

He had an inkling. It would have been strange if he didn’t. ‘You did say that you didn’t want to fight the Rainlords anymore.’

‘Oh, yes, what a bright side. We’ve fixed a broken finger by chopping off the hand. Just wonderful.’

‘Why is Korgum so chaotic, anyway?’

‘You don’t already know?’

‘Not the details.’

‘Well, I’ve avoided that place like a syphilitic monkey cock, so I can’t claim to be an expert, but my understanding is that there are several locations in Korgum that are strategically important, and Dozer keeps trying to get at them like a horny dolphin at a nude beach.’

‘...I hate the way you explain things.’

‘Dolphins are fucked up animals, y’know. They’ll kill their own babies out of sheer boredom.’

‘...Is that true?’

‘It’s either boredom, or because the females become ready to mate again when they don’t have babies anymore. The males kill the kids so that they can have more sex.’

‘...Wow.’

‘And yet everyone loves them. Then you’ve got animals like vampire bats. Everyone thinks they’re creepy and gross because they drink blood, but they’re actually super fucking nice.’

‘I feel we’ve drifted away from my question about Korgum.’

‘It’s not my fault that you ask boring questions. Anyway, about vampire bats--they’re fucking harmless, and they’ll even adopt little bat babies that have been orphaned. That’s cool as shit! But because they’re not all cute and happy-looking, everyone thinks--’

‘Alright, I get it. Were you a zoologist when you were alive?’

‘Yes, Dunstan. Because I know two things about animals, that means I was a zoologist. Way to insult an entire profession, you fucking ignoramus.’

‘You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I may never recover from the shame I’ve brought upon myself.’

‘Don’t give me your dry sarcasm. I’m still upset here.’

‘You say that like it’s somehow abnormal.’

Reza’s glowing red eyes glared at him a moment. ‘I wonder if I could get Sanko to give you latrine duty.’