Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Page 998

--Non-donation bonus in order to make up for poopy February (Page 2 of 3)--
God-fucking-dammit,’ said Reza privately. ‘Why couldn’t she just let us go to Jesbol with that dickhole Miles?

I don’t know.

I don’t want to go to fucking Korgum!

So you’ve told me. Several times now.

Why are you so calm?! Do you even realize how much of a shitfest that place is right now?!

He had an inkling. It would have been strange if he didn’t. ‘You did say that you didn’t want to fight the Rainlords anymore.

Oh, yes, what a bright side. We’ve fixed a broken finger by chopping off the hand. Just wonderful.

Why is Korgum so chaotic, anyway?

You don’t already know?

Not the details.

Well, I’ve avoided that place like a syphilitic monkey cock, so I can’t claim to be an expert, but my understanding is that there are several locations in Korgum that are strategically important, and Dozer keeps trying to get at them like a horny dolphin at a nude beach.

...I hate the way you explain things.

Dolphins are fucked up animals, y’know. They’ll kill their own babies out of sheer boredom.

...Is that true?

It’s either boredom, or because the females become ready to mate again when they don’t have babies anymore. The males kill the kids so that they can have more sex.


And yet everyone loves them. Then you’ve got animals like vampire bats. Everyone thinks they’re creepy and gross because they drink blood, but they’re actually super fucking nice.

I feel we’ve drifted away from my question about Korgum.

It’s not my fault that you ask boring questions. Anyway, about vampire bats--they’re fucking harmless, and they’ll even adopt little bat babies that have been orphaned. That’s cool as shit! But because they’re not all cute and happy-looking, everyone thinks--

Alright, I get it. Were you a zoologist when you were alive?

Yes, Dunstan. Because I know two things about animals, that means I was a zoologist. Way to insult an entire profession, you fucking ignoramus.

You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I may never recover from the shame I’ve brought upon myself.

Don’t give me your dry sarcasm. I’m still upset here.

You say that like it’s somehow abnormal.

Reza’s glowing red eyes glared at him a moment. ‘I wonder if I could get Sanko to give you latrine duty.


  1. The previous page went up about ten-ish hours ago. Careful not to skip it, folks.

  2. "I wonder if I could Sanko go give you latrine duty" missing get

  3. There's something wrong here.
    ‘You don’t know already know?’

  4. I giggled helplessly for about five minutes after reading the horny dolphin metaphor

  5. "Get to go give you latrine duty" maybe? Sounds better to me.

  6. ‘I wonder if I could get Sanko go give you' Shouldn't it be "to give you"

  7. Yeah, that "go" was supposed to be "to." Got it now, thanks.

  8. Personally, I think the bright side is being missed, here. Not going anywhere with Parson is better than going anywhere you want with him. ;P

  9. That about Reza is not news. Not after this page. xD

  10. A war between Jesbol and Horshit.

  11. Warning for anyone who might be waiting: the third page won't be happening tonight. I'll put up two pages tomorrow, instead.

  12. ...So she's totally a Zoologist right? :P

  13. lol, all the reapers have a great sense of humor. Probably get a long time to think up their free time.

  14. Reads? She dictates articles to Dunstan in her spare time, and not purely to deny him any of his own.