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‘Well, I wasn’t really--’

‘Imagine stepping into a puddle,’ said Reza, ‘only to realize it was about a meter deeper than you expected. Imagine finding a bed of frozen spikes at the bottom, which then skewer your foot and dig up into your shin. Imagine writhing in agony, unable to move, as you watch a levee in front of you suddenly break and a tidal wave come crashing toward you. Then imagine being crushed nearly to death by the impact, only to slowly drown.’

‘...I was more interested in knowing why you were there.’

‘How about some fucking pity?!’

‘I’m sorry your death was so horrible, Reza. I’m sure you remember how wonderful mine was.’

‘All things considered, I’d say getting ripped apart by a pack of Dantean wolves is a pretty radical way to go.’

‘I think I would’ve rather drowned. Or been set on fire, maybe.’

‘Oh, I doubt that. Burning alive is one of the most excruciating. I’d definitely take the wolves.’

‘Hmph.’

‘Alright, then, let’s up the ante. Which would you choose? Lasers slowly burn your eyes out of your head and pierce your brain, melting it? Or you have to keep eating your favorite food until your stomach ruptures and kills you?’

‘Why my favorite food?’

‘Because it would gradually turn into your most hated food as you ate it until you puked. But you’d have to keep eating it, anyway, and every time you vomited would just mean that you have to eat even more of this thing that you once loved but is now your worst nightmare.’

‘...You have a twisted imagination, you know that?’

‘Fine, I’ll give you a third option.’ She paused. ‘Uh... shit yourself in front of the person you love most until you die from embarrassment.’

‘Wow.’

‘And if you’re somehow not embarrassed, then you just keep shitting forever.’

‘Okay, I think we need some quiet time.’

She did not shut up, however. She pestered him with inane questions for the next hour and a half, and Dunstan regretted ever worrying about her.

Relief finally came when the aircraft hit a patch of turbulence. It lasted a while, then died down. Then a thunderous pop made the plane jerk violently upward and to the side, leaving half the watchmen in the room to dangle upside down from their crisscrossing seatbelts.