At that, Hector hesitated. For a time, he merely sat there, letting his gaze fall from Garovel to the floor. “But,” he finally said, “I killed myself...”
‘I know. I watched you do it.’
“Then... then why didn’t you ask someone else? Someone who died by accident or something?” He breathed a curt breath. “Someone who actually deserves a chance like this...”
‘If you’d really wanted to die like that, then you wouldn’t have agreed to help me when I asked you.’
As he sat there, his head eased down between his hands. “But...” He sighed.
‘Before you died, I had been watching you for quite a while.’
He looked up. “What...?”
‘From the moment you decided to commit suicide, I could sense the aura of death around you.’ The shadows of Garovel’s missing eyes seemed abruptly more intent upon him. ‘That’s how it works. I sense death when the soul becomes directly imperiled. If you were about to get hit by a bus, I wouldn’t sense your death until you walked in front of the thing. Situations like that really suck. But for people like you, people who intend to commit suicide, I sense death when the decision is finalized in your mind.’
He blinked. “Then... you must’ve been...”
‘Yes. I was waiting for nearly seven months. That’s how long it took you to do it.’ Garovel gave a small shrug. ‘Not the longest I’ve ever seen, but definitely up there. I’d check on you from time to time, maybe two or three times a week. Eventually, I started to wonder why you were letting things drag out so much, why you didn’t just get it over with. And then I figured it out.’
His gaze returned to the floor, and his eyes eased shut as he listened.
A dark serial novel. Set in a modern fantasy world called Eleg. Mature language. Updates every night at midnight PST by ~400 words.
I'm going to stop here for the evening. So far so good. I look forward to where this is going and to understand more about these two characters and how their strange relationship works interacting with others. I've bookmarked this tale and I'll try to get back here when I can. I'm in the process of writing my own novel at the moment and it's a lengthy affair, as I'm sure you understand.
ReplyDeleteScott Scherr
Thanks for reading. Appreciate all the feedback, and I do indeed understand. Certainly, take your time reading. There's quite a lot of story left.
DeleteWhoop, there we go...complication time. In the only direction possible, really, which is just an observation. It's a solid bit of character work.
ReplyDeleteCalled it. Very nice foreshadowing you did with the circumstances of Hector's death.
ReplyDeleteSeven months? That's... a long time indeed. Hector seems more than a bit indecisive by now.
ReplyDeleteNot only is he annoying, He comitted Suicide too. Don't like this mc already. Only the most worthless people commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteYou sure got judgmental fast.
ReplyDeleteI suggest that you continue reading this story so you can see the reason why he did that.
ReplyDeleteIndeed...
ReplyDelete