Page 3098

If he were to truly believe that his ancestors were watching over him, that was obviously comforting during difficult times. But also, there was the notion that his ancestors might be judging his actions. What other reason would they have for observing?

They would want their honorable legacy to continue, would they not?

And he, therefore, should do everything in his power not to disappoint them.

He wondered if Mariana was there now, watching him. Would she disapprove of his recent decisions?

Heh.

Perhaps in the opposite manner to what he had previously been thinking. She probably would have wanted him to depart much earlier, to leave the children alone so that they could grow and mature without him smothering them all the time.

She'd been a rather cold woman, hadn't she? But that had also made her moments of warmth all the more special. And she had always shown him respect, especially in front of other people. She'd firmly believed that it was her job as his wife to always try to make him look dignified and respectable, both as a lord and as the father of her children.

God, he missed her. For so many reasons.

He sure could've used her help in maintaining that dignified facade, these days. With each passing day, he felt like he was turning into more of a barbarian. Having the kids around had allowed him to stifle that sentiment, but only sometimes. It was more like putting a lid on a boiling pot, instead of actually turning the heat down.

Which made him feel even worse.

Marcos and Ramira should have had more of a calming effect than that. He loved them with all his heart, didn't he? Was that not enough?

How many more ways could he fail as a father?