He wished he could believe as Axiolis did. That would make things simpler--or it seemed like it would, at least.
Increasingly, he'd been wondering if he could just choose to start to believing in Lhutwё. At times, he thought yeah, maybe. At others, he thought no, he'd just be pretending. Belief had to be genuine, didn't it? It seemed to him that "belief" was often the thing that gripped the person, not the other way around. If he didn't feel such a grip, then was it even possible for him to genuinely choose belief?
Or was that perception of it the illusion? Were assessments wrong from the ground up?
Questions for philosophers, he supposed. And he certainly wasn't one of those.
Lakefire. Maybe he'd figure everything out one day, if he lived long enough.
But probably not.
Axiolis had more to say regarding traditions that he thought should return. The reaper had quite a list. Zeff was only half-listening by the end it, but among them, he noted arranged marriages.
That tradition had not entirely left the Rainlords yet, but it had certainly been on its way out. Before everything. Zeff had even harbored quite strong feelings about it. He hadn't wanted to push Emiliana into a marriage at such a young age. Or at all, really.
She'd always been a rather obedient child. She probably would have gone along with it and never voiced her true feelings until it was far too late.
Or maybe that was just his own rationalization for not wanting to give up his little girl.
Thinking about her now was particularly painful. The thought that she was in the clutches of the Monster of the East... that he'd allowed her to be taken...
Ugh.
According to Hector, the Monster was treating her well and even teaching her to control her mutations. He had to wonder if that was really the truth, though. Perhaps Emiliana had cooked up a comforting lie in order to prevent him from going out of his mind with worry.
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