Monday, December 25, 2023

Page 3478

Hector laughed again. “I promise I’m telling the truth,” he said. “But I will say that I’m not exactly a food critic, either. If you’re looking to improve on your technique, then you should probably be consulting someone else.”

“Oh, I think Lluis and Margot have that aspect of things covered for me,” said Selena. “It’s actually kinda crazy. They’re so sweet and gentle and kind the rest of the time. An idyllic old married couple, you know? But then you get them to start teaching you about food, and they turn into the some of the strictest disciplinarians you’ll ever meet.”

“Wow, really? They always seem so laidback.”

She paused again, blinking as she perhaps rethought what she had been saying. “N-not that I’m trying to get them in trouble or anything. I love them both and am terribly grateful to them. I’m just complaining for, uh--for fun, I guess.”

Hector cocked an eyebrow, unable to conceal his smile. “For fun?”

“Yeah, you know? Talkin’ shit? So it’s no big deal. I just suddenly realized you might take me too seriously and go chew them out or something. And that’s the last thing I want. They really are too sweet for this world, when it comes down to it. They wouldn’t deserve that.”

“Okay, so first you were worried I’m too nice, and now you’re worried I’m too much of a hard ass?”

“Yeah, well, I’m still getting to know you, okay?”

“I feel like you might be too much of a worrywart,” said Hector.

“That’s quite rude. And not untrue. That’s actually something I’ve been trying to be better about, but it’s hard.”

Hector could relate. “Yeah, I’m... er, kinda the same way, honestly. It’s tough to not overthink things, sometimes.”

“Oh yeah?” said Selena. “But you always seem as cool as a cucumber. Are you telling me that deep down, you’re actually not cool or cucumber-like at all?”

“Heh, I’m afraid so...”

“Hmm. What would be the appropriate analogy for you, then? Warm as a trout?”

“What the--? Why a trout?”

“I dunno. I’m brainstorming.”

“Isn’t it supposed to, uh, start with the same letter? Like 'cool as a cucumber' does?”

“Oh, right, right. Maybe, then, um, warm as a wolverine?”

“Are wolverines warm?”

“Probably. They live outdoors with all that fur.”

“I’m pretty sure they can still get cold, though.”

“Warm as a waterfall.”

“Those aren’t really warm, either.”

“Warm as a warm waterfall.”

“You just used the word warm twice.”

“Warm as a warm spring.”

“You did it again!”

“Warm as a war with wizards.”

“I don’t even know what to say about that one.”

“No, hey, that one makes sense! Wizards cast fireballs, right? So it really would be warm! And it's fun to say!”

“I’ve forgotten why we even started talking about this in the first place.”

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