Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Page 1182

Uh... I don’t, uh...

Yeah.

They... they had a baby with them...

They sure did.

Er, I mean... I’m not judging...

You’re kind of judging.

Well, it’s--I, ah--it’s... uh--

Yeah. It’s weird. And the Sandlords don’t exactly smile upon it.

I see...

There are reasons for that, too. Historical reasons, that is.

Wait... You’re not just telling me all this because you wanna give me another history lesson, are you?

Hey, I’m not telling you anything that isn’t true. If a history lesson just evolves organically out of my own scholarly truthfulness, then who are we to go against that? Is that what you want, Hector? To go against the laws of nature?

...“Truthfulness,” huh? I seem to recall you lying right to my face not too long ago.

Oh, yes, well, exemptions from the truth can be made when something is hilarious. Everyone knows that.

It wasn’t hilarious.

It was to me.

I’m gonna get you back for that, by the way.

I’m shaking in my nonexistent boots.

Hector just sighed. At least he was almost done loading up the old man’s car.

So do you want my history lesson or not? It’s super interesting. You’ll like it. C’mon.

Fuckin’... yeah, alright. I’m sure you’d just tell it to me, anyway.

Okay, so back in the day--we’re talking, oh, 1700 years ago or so--a little group emerged from the then-very-powerful Valgan Empire. You may have even heard of this little group. They were called the Sandlords.

Nope, never heard of ‘em.

Their rise to power was facilitated by the discovery of their “divine ability.” You know the one.

Explain that to me again.

Well, it’s the materialization that Asad--

I was joking, Garovel.

Never joke about asking me to explain something, because I will always take you seriously and explain the shit out of it, just in case.

Alright, geez.

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