A dark serial novel. Set in a modern fantasy world called Eleg. Mature language. Updates every day at noon PST by ~400 words.
Sunday, November 30, 2025
Saturday, November 29, 2025
Page 3995
So what had changed in them? He’d gained a little bit of power? A little bit of fame? And that was all it took to fill his head with nonsense? To lose his survival instinct?
No. More than anything, he needed to remain attentive. Caster had been... fine, true, but he was also an utterly unpredictable question mark.
Which, after all this time traveling with him, was not exactly a good thing.
‘You’re probably right,’ said Loren. ‘But I also think we should be flexible. If things take a turn for the worse, it would be good if we had some sort of escape vector, no?’
‘There is no escaping Abolish, my boy.’
Loren wanted to be very careful with his words here. Ultimately, he still didn’t really know how Rezolo felt about Abolish as a whole. The reaper never talked about it or even his own past.
That was the main thing that Loren had feared ever since first being revived. While Rezolo was quieter than most Abolish reapers, that didn’t actually mean he was any less loyal. Sure, Loren occasionally got that impression from him, but were impressions enough to gamble his life on?
If deep down, Rezolo was a true believer... and if he came to the conclusion that Loren could not be trusted...
‘That is not what I’m saying,’ said Loren. ‘Escaping Caster doesn’t have to mean escaping Abolish.’
Floating alongside him, Rezolo turned and just stared at him.
Loren didn’t balk. He always kept eye contact whenever he found the opportunity. Because he wanted to see. Really see. And maybe it was just silly superstition, but Loren was increasingly coming to believe that the eyes could reveal quite a lot about a person. Yes, even reapers with their ethereal bodies.
It was about the soul. Or something even deeper, maybe.
He felt like he could almost see it. Hints of emotion. Of whole ideas turning over in their minds. If he could just... sharpen his vision a little more... then maybe...
‘Stop looking at me like that,’ said Rezolo.
It wasn’t the first time the reaper had said that to him. ‘Like what?’ It wasn’t the first time responding like that, either.
‘You know exactly what. Stop it.’
‘This is just how my eyes are, Rezo. I can’t change them back, you know.’
‘You’re trying to read my mind.’
‘I’m not psychic.’
‘So you keep claiming. But you’re working on it, aren’t you?’
‘No, I’m not. I’m still just refining my eyes.’
‘Don’t lie to me, boy.’
He wanted to scoff but restrained himself. ‘That’s the truth. Brain mutations are too dangerous for my liking.’
‘Except all your role models are psychic.’
‘Not all of them. But I wish YOU were psychic. Then maybe you’d be able to tell I’m not lying.’
‘Hmph.’
No. More than anything, he needed to remain attentive. Caster had been... fine, true, but he was also an utterly unpredictable question mark.
Which, after all this time traveling with him, was not exactly a good thing.
‘You’re probably right,’ said Loren. ‘But I also think we should be flexible. If things take a turn for the worse, it would be good if we had some sort of escape vector, no?’
‘There is no escaping Abolish, my boy.’
Loren wanted to be very careful with his words here. Ultimately, he still didn’t really know how Rezolo felt about Abolish as a whole. The reaper never talked about it or even his own past.
That was the main thing that Loren had feared ever since first being revived. While Rezolo was quieter than most Abolish reapers, that didn’t actually mean he was any less loyal. Sure, Loren occasionally got that impression from him, but were impressions enough to gamble his life on?
If deep down, Rezolo was a true believer... and if he came to the conclusion that Loren could not be trusted...
‘That is not what I’m saying,’ said Loren. ‘Escaping Caster doesn’t have to mean escaping Abolish.’
Floating alongside him, Rezolo turned and just stared at him.
Loren didn’t balk. He always kept eye contact whenever he found the opportunity. Because he wanted to see. Really see. And maybe it was just silly superstition, but Loren was increasingly coming to believe that the eyes could reveal quite a lot about a person. Yes, even reapers with their ethereal bodies.
It was about the soul. Or something even deeper, maybe.
He felt like he could almost see it. Hints of emotion. Of whole ideas turning over in their minds. If he could just... sharpen his vision a little more... then maybe...
‘Stop looking at me like that,’ said Rezolo.
It wasn’t the first time the reaper had said that to him. ‘Like what?’ It wasn’t the first time responding like that, either.
‘You know exactly what. Stop it.’
‘This is just how my eyes are, Rezo. I can’t change them back, you know.’
‘You’re trying to read my mind.’
‘I’m not psychic.’
‘So you keep claiming. But you’re working on it, aren’t you?’
‘No, I’m not. I’m still just refining my eyes.’
‘Don’t lie to me, boy.’
He wanted to scoff but restrained himself. ‘That’s the truth. Brain mutations are too dangerous for my liking.’
‘Except all your role models are psychic.’
‘Not all of them. But I wish YOU were psychic. Then maybe you’d be able to tell I’m not lying.’
‘Hmph.’
Friday, November 28, 2025
Page 3994
As everyone made their way up this dark tower, hoping to find a path to the surface, Roman finally deigned to give them some peace and quiet; and Loren decided to seize the opportunity in order to have a private conversation with Rezolo.
‘You okay, Rezo?’
‘Hmph. Why are you asking?’
‘Just checking in. Caster made me disappear from right in front of you. Then he teleported you, too. Now we’re here, involved in Void-knows-what.’
‘I’m fine.’
Agh. The reaper had always had a tendency to go quiet on him--which, in Loren’s experience, was somewhat rare for their kind. In some ways, that was a relief. Loren certainly appreciated not having to deal with a motormouth all the time like many of his contemporaries had to, but it did have its downsides, too.
He decided to keep pushing. ‘What do you make of these people so far?’
‘They’re dangerous.’
No kidding. ‘Darksteel mentioned wanting to poach us from Caster.’
‘I wouldn’t put too much stock in that, if I were you.’
A part of Loren wanted to protest. To ask why. But a stronger part of him was already in agreement with the reaper.
It felt naive in countless ways. A childish hope. And the child in him had died during the Vaelish Civil War. Just think about it. Poach them? Why would Darksteel do that? He didn’t know the first thing about them.
And besides, Caster had been a fine boss, hadn’t he? Supremely strange, but fine. Better than anyone Loren had worked under before.
Pah. ‘Poach.’ That word wasn’t even correct, was it? Darksteel didn’t want him for his skills. Darksteel just pitied him. Viewed him as a slave under Caster’s thumb.
But then... wasn’t he?
Idiot. Why was he trying to feel offended at the thought of being pitied? Some sort of pride? There was no utility in that. There never had been. That was the first and most important lesson he’d ever learned.
Pride hadn’t saved his parents from the so-called “revolutionaries.” For all the “pride” and “dignity” that his father had maintained during that break-in, trying to appear strong, what difference had it made? He’d been gunned down just the same.
And then later, pride hadn’t saved those other kids in the forest, either. It hadn’t filled their bellies when they acted like they were too good to learn how to hunt. They were fine taking the food that Loren caught and prepped for them, but no. They couldn’t learn how to do it themselves.
That was probably why they got sick and died. And why he and the others survived. Mira and Kaul. Trill and Stoker. They didn’t let pride get in the way. They did whatever it took to survive.
‘You okay, Rezo?’
‘Hmph. Why are you asking?’
‘Just checking in. Caster made me disappear from right in front of you. Then he teleported you, too. Now we’re here, involved in Void-knows-what.’
‘I’m fine.’
Agh. The reaper had always had a tendency to go quiet on him--which, in Loren’s experience, was somewhat rare for their kind. In some ways, that was a relief. Loren certainly appreciated not having to deal with a motormouth all the time like many of his contemporaries had to, but it did have its downsides, too.
He decided to keep pushing. ‘What do you make of these people so far?’
‘They’re dangerous.’
No kidding. ‘Darksteel mentioned wanting to poach us from Caster.’
‘I wouldn’t put too much stock in that, if I were you.’
A part of Loren wanted to protest. To ask why. But a stronger part of him was already in agreement with the reaper.
It felt naive in countless ways. A childish hope. And the child in him had died during the Vaelish Civil War. Just think about it. Poach them? Why would Darksteel do that? He didn’t know the first thing about them.
And besides, Caster had been a fine boss, hadn’t he? Supremely strange, but fine. Better than anyone Loren had worked under before.
Pah. ‘Poach.’ That word wasn’t even correct, was it? Darksteel didn’t want him for his skills. Darksteel just pitied him. Viewed him as a slave under Caster’s thumb.
But then... wasn’t he?
Idiot. Why was he trying to feel offended at the thought of being pitied? Some sort of pride? There was no utility in that. There never had been. That was the first and most important lesson he’d ever learned.
Pride hadn’t saved his parents from the so-called “revolutionaries.” For all the “pride” and “dignity” that his father had maintained during that break-in, trying to appear strong, what difference had it made? He’d been gunned down just the same.
And then later, pride hadn’t saved those other kids in the forest, either. It hadn’t filled their bellies when they acted like they were too good to learn how to hunt. They were fine taking the food that Loren caught and prepped for them, but no. They couldn’t learn how to do it themselves.
That was probably why they got sick and died. And why he and the others survived. Mira and Kaul. Trill and Stoker. They didn’t let pride get in the way. They did whatever it took to survive.
Thursday, November 27, 2025
Page 3993 -- CCCXX.
Chapter Three Hundred Twenty: ‘Thy piercing gaze...’
Click to display entire chapter at once -- (mobile link)
Loren Lighteyes was trying his best to simply follow the group in silence, but this hyper-talkative Roman fellow was making that task quite difficult. The man kept asking questions, doubtless wanting to build a rapport or some such thing. Gather intel, maybe.
Perfectly reasonable, given the circumstances.
But Loren just wanted to observe. That was always what he preferred to do whenever circumstances became too difficult to wrap his head around.
How the hell had he ended up on a mission to Intar? Maybe the worst place in the world for members of Abolish to go.
And with people he barely knew, to boot? What the fuck was even happening, anymore? He’d thought that throwing his lot in with Caster Egmond would make for quite the dramatic shift in his life’s trajectory--hopefully for the better--but this was even more dramatic than he’d anticipated.
Which was to say nothing of the revelation that Caster was actually some sort of... ancient entity. Or possessed by one, maybe. Loren still didn’t quite understand that development, and Caster and Kalikos hadn’t been terribly forthcoming with explanations, either.
Maybe he just needed to be more direct, though. Ask straight up about who “Zirat” really was. Rezolo’s attempts to glean new information had probably been too subtle or indirect. Easily answered with vague nonsense--which seemed to be Kalikos’ specialty.
That was easy to say, though. Just be direct. Sure. Just ask one of the most terrifying people he’d ever met to explain all his deepest, darkest secrets to him. No sweat.
Agh.
This new guy, though. Darksteel. Loren had to acknowledge that there was definitely something crazy going on with him, too. He didn’t seem scared of Caster in the slightest--in fact, sometimes, it almost seemed like the other way around.
Which Loren found truly baffling.
From everything he’d seen so far, this Hector guy seemed surprisingly... nice. Welcoming. Protective, even.
But he also couldn’t quite shake that lingering first impression he’d gotten back in Boland. The feeling of quiet danger.
Such a strange mixture. And growing stranger by the minute, Loren felt.
Madder still, he couldn’t get Darksteel’s words out of his mind. The guy had basically said, right to Caster’s face, that he intended to poach Loren from him.
Was that real? A joke? Loren had no idea. And it was bothering the hell out of him.
Click to display entire chapter at once -- (mobile link)
Loren Lighteyes was trying his best to simply follow the group in silence, but this hyper-talkative Roman fellow was making that task quite difficult. The man kept asking questions, doubtless wanting to build a rapport or some such thing. Gather intel, maybe.
Perfectly reasonable, given the circumstances.
But Loren just wanted to observe. That was always what he preferred to do whenever circumstances became too difficult to wrap his head around.
How the hell had he ended up on a mission to Intar? Maybe the worst place in the world for members of Abolish to go.
And with people he barely knew, to boot? What the fuck was even happening, anymore? He’d thought that throwing his lot in with Caster Egmond would make for quite the dramatic shift in his life’s trajectory--hopefully for the better--but this was even more dramatic than he’d anticipated.
Which was to say nothing of the revelation that Caster was actually some sort of... ancient entity. Or possessed by one, maybe. Loren still didn’t quite understand that development, and Caster and Kalikos hadn’t been terribly forthcoming with explanations, either.
Maybe he just needed to be more direct, though. Ask straight up about who “Zirat” really was. Rezolo’s attempts to glean new information had probably been too subtle or indirect. Easily answered with vague nonsense--which seemed to be Kalikos’ specialty.
That was easy to say, though. Just be direct. Sure. Just ask one of the most terrifying people he’d ever met to explain all his deepest, darkest secrets to him. No sweat.
Agh.
This new guy, though. Darksteel. Loren had to acknowledge that there was definitely something crazy going on with him, too. He didn’t seem scared of Caster in the slightest--in fact, sometimes, it almost seemed like the other way around.
Which Loren found truly baffling.
From everything he’d seen so far, this Hector guy seemed surprisingly... nice. Welcoming. Protective, even.
But he also couldn’t quite shake that lingering first impression he’d gotten back in Boland. The feeling of quiet danger.
Such a strange mixture. And growing stranger by the minute, Loren felt.
Madder still, he couldn’t get Darksteel’s words out of his mind. The guy had basically said, right to Caster’s face, that he intended to poach Loren from him.
Was that real? A joke? Loren had no idea. And it was bothering the hell out of him.
Wednesday, November 26, 2025
Tuesday, November 25, 2025
Page 3992
Perhaps a bit too much, actually. The horns were starting to feel a bit painful. They needed to be tempered. Another layer of keratin? Ah, but too much might render them inert. The sensitivity was to be useful, wasn’t it?
Only for physical matters. For spiritual essence, that would not be a problem.
What? Who said that? Chergoa? No. Huh? Emiliana?
Agam?
Agh.
That pain was getting sharper. Needed a decision. Keratin coating? No, use the plant proteins. They could protect, too.
More green. More buds. Argh, this was difficult. Unfamiliar territory. They were really pushing it now, weren’t they?
Pain. Elsewhere. Not focused on the horns but along her skin. Little specks. Pellets? Seedlings? Spores.
Why did we need those? You’re going overboard.
Stop asking questions and just see for yourself. Our minds were one, weren’t they?
Sure, but it wasn’t that simple, either. We were still new this, remember?
Are still new? Were still new? When?
Agh.
Okay, that was enough. They had to ease up.
Had to separate again.
The pain heightened for one final spike, and then everything blinked. Everywhere. All of existence. Gone, then back.
And Emiliana groaned as she slowly came to the realization that she felt like herself again. Alone with her thoughts again.
She felt grass on her face. Oh no. She hadn’t tried to--that couldn’t have been what she--!
Oh. It was just because she was on the ground. The grass was from this little sanctuary. Not growing out of her face.
Phew. Yeah. Wow. Gradually, she opened her eyes and pushed herself up onto her knees.
She focused on her breathing. How steady it was. How calm she felt.
How free.
Geez.
Dopamine was still hitting, huh? That sure felt nice. Made her feel like... maybe this power of hers wasn’t the worst thing in the world, after all. Not just a curse to be endured.
Maybe.
She looked around. Ah, her slightly obscured vision hadn’t changed, apparently. Damn. She’d wanted to fix that, but after thinking about the mess that she’d just gone through, maybe it was for the best that she hadn’t thought to tackle that, too. She could always try later.
She didn’t see the reaper, though. ‘Chergoa? Where’d you go?’
No response.
A pang of worry struck her chest as she stood up and began searching through the grass.
It didn’t take long. Chergoa was right there, though barely recognizable. An ethereal, amorphous lump on the ground.
Emiliana dropped to her knees and scooped her up, pulling her close.
Shit. Chergoa had acted all calm collected through that whole thing, but truth was obvious now, wasn’t it? She’d been pushing herself incredibly hard.
Tears welled up. Uncontrollable. Gratitude and anger intertwining. Stupid reaper. Going that far for her. She struggled not to start sobbing.
Only for physical matters. For spiritual essence, that would not be a problem.
What? Who said that? Chergoa? No. Huh? Emiliana?
Agam?
Agh.
That pain was getting sharper. Needed a decision. Keratin coating? No, use the plant proteins. They could protect, too.
More green. More buds. Argh, this was difficult. Unfamiliar territory. They were really pushing it now, weren’t they?
Pain. Elsewhere. Not focused on the horns but along her skin. Little specks. Pellets? Seedlings? Spores.
Why did we need those? You’re going overboard.
Stop asking questions and just see for yourself. Our minds were one, weren’t they?
Sure, but it wasn’t that simple, either. We were still new this, remember?
Are still new? Were still new? When?
Agh.
Okay, that was enough. They had to ease up.
Had to separate again.
The pain heightened for one final spike, and then everything blinked. Everywhere. All of existence. Gone, then back.
And Emiliana groaned as she slowly came to the realization that she felt like herself again. Alone with her thoughts again.
She felt grass on her face. Oh no. She hadn’t tried to--that couldn’t have been what she--!
Oh. It was just because she was on the ground. The grass was from this little sanctuary. Not growing out of her face.
Phew. Yeah. Wow. Gradually, she opened her eyes and pushed herself up onto her knees.
She focused on her breathing. How steady it was. How calm she felt.
How free.
Geez.
Dopamine was still hitting, huh? That sure felt nice. Made her feel like... maybe this power of hers wasn’t the worst thing in the world, after all. Not just a curse to be endured.
Maybe.
She looked around. Ah, her slightly obscured vision hadn’t changed, apparently. Damn. She’d wanted to fix that, but after thinking about the mess that she’d just gone through, maybe it was for the best that she hadn’t thought to tackle that, too. She could always try later.
She didn’t see the reaper, though. ‘Chergoa? Where’d you go?’
No response.
A pang of worry struck her chest as she stood up and began searching through the grass.
It didn’t take long. Chergoa was right there, though barely recognizable. An ethereal, amorphous lump on the ground.
Emiliana dropped to her knees and scooped her up, pulling her close.
Shit. Chergoa had acted all calm collected through that whole thing, but truth was obvious now, wasn’t it? She’d been pushing herself incredibly hard.
Tears welled up. Uncontrollable. Gratitude and anger intertwining. Stupid reaper. Going that far for her. She struggled not to start sobbing.
Monday, November 24, 2025
Page 3991
How could that possibly be? When all around them was only death? How could there be life in the center of the Dáinnbolg?
She reached out to it.
It reacted.
Strongly.
Extremely strongly.
What in the hell was happening? The world around her felt like it was shaking. And closing in. All at once. Light flashed across the vision of her mind. Thunder crashed from the non-existent sky. And green. Sight and scent. Everywhere. Converging.
She couldn’t help but panic. Retreat. Pull back, but to where? Didn’t matter. Wherever her mind could take her?
Chergoa?
Emiliana?
Chaos. Black and roiling. It felt like she hit the ground. Fallen on her side? Or was that a wall? Did reality even exist anymore? Where was her mind, right now?
Lakefire. The mutation was still ongoing. Without her. Without either of them.
What was it doing?!
They concentrated. Had to get it under control. Figure everything out. Make sense of the world. Of this body.
The horns had changed. She could sense them. All four of them. The bottom two had stretched across her cheeks and touched her ears. More like handles now. Ugh. And the top two had grown up and out. Taller. More prominent than ever.
More noticeable.
It took all of her self-control not to utterly hate herself. Chergoa must have been helping with that.
They steadied themselves. Calm. Quiet. Ready.
Now. Was there anything else? Just the four horns changing? If so, then--
No. There were more now. Along her arms. The backs of her hands. Stubby horns had grown out at intermittent points. Just like the ones on her face had been.
God. Why?
No. It was okay. They were fine, see? In fact, they looked kind of neat, didn’t they?
Oh, shut up.
No. You shut up. And really look at ‘em, instead of just freaking out again. The horns weren’t totally brown and gray like the ones on her face had been. There was a bit of green in them, around the flat tops. What did that tell you, huh?
Green...
Hmm. What did that tell her? She could feel something more there. Life. Budding potential? Like with her vines? Could they grow leaves or flowers, too, if she wanted?
More.
Yes.
Much more.
Those horns were connected to her very bones. Of course they were. That was what horns were, anatomically speaking: protruding bones covered in a tough shell of keratin, the same protein that composed hair.
And these little horns... they were feeding into her brain, too. She could sense their form as clearly as her own fingers and toes.
There was some kind of extra sensitivity there, she realized.
She reached out to it.
It reacted.
Strongly.
Extremely strongly.
What in the hell was happening? The world around her felt like it was shaking. And closing in. All at once. Light flashed across the vision of her mind. Thunder crashed from the non-existent sky. And green. Sight and scent. Everywhere. Converging.
She couldn’t help but panic. Retreat. Pull back, but to where? Didn’t matter. Wherever her mind could take her?
Chergoa?
Emiliana?
Chaos. Black and roiling. It felt like she hit the ground. Fallen on her side? Or was that a wall? Did reality even exist anymore? Where was her mind, right now?
Lakefire. The mutation was still ongoing. Without her. Without either of them.
What was it doing?!
They concentrated. Had to get it under control. Figure everything out. Make sense of the world. Of this body.
The horns had changed. She could sense them. All four of them. The bottom two had stretched across her cheeks and touched her ears. More like handles now. Ugh. And the top two had grown up and out. Taller. More prominent than ever.
More noticeable.
It took all of her self-control not to utterly hate herself. Chergoa must have been helping with that.
They steadied themselves. Calm. Quiet. Ready.
Now. Was there anything else? Just the four horns changing? If so, then--
No. There were more now. Along her arms. The backs of her hands. Stubby horns had grown out at intermittent points. Just like the ones on her face had been.
God. Why?
No. It was okay. They were fine, see? In fact, they looked kind of neat, didn’t they?
Oh, shut up.
No. You shut up. And really look at ‘em, instead of just freaking out again. The horns weren’t totally brown and gray like the ones on her face had been. There was a bit of green in them, around the flat tops. What did that tell you, huh?
Green...
Hmm. What did that tell her? She could feel something more there. Life. Budding potential? Like with her vines? Could they grow leaves or flowers, too, if she wanted?
More.
Yes.
Much more.
Those horns were connected to her very bones. Of course they were. That was what horns were, anatomically speaking: protruding bones covered in a tough shell of keratin, the same protein that composed hair.
And these little horns... they were feeding into her brain, too. She could sense their form as clearly as her own fingers and toes.
There was some kind of extra sensitivity there, she realized.
Sunday, November 23, 2025
Page 3990
Hmm. Maybe so. It was pretty tempting, wasn’t it? Real power at our fingertips.
But be careful.
Of course.
They moved together. Further. Deeper. Madega filled their minds.
Those teal leaves. There was something in that, wasn’t there? Some unifying force within that ancient coloration. A hallmark of the ancestors.
She wanted that. The added familiarity. The added warmth. Maybe it was nothing. Just sentimental nonsense. But she wanted. Desperately.
Fine.
From the vines, they budded out quickly. Tiny leaves. Numerous and teal. So many. Almost like a coating of feathers. They didn’t connect to her skin, though. They stayed on the vines, which also continued to grow and splay.
They were getting quite long now, weren’t they? Perhaps it was time to slow down.
No. There was new life there. Don’t you see? Mobility. Freedom. With a bit more, they would be able to control the vines like limbs.
What?
Yeah, see? Look. Look how they could move. They were prehensile, now.
Okay, okay. But this was already more than we agreed. We should ease off the gas.
Why?
These connections were beautiful. This network. All concentrated back into her brain. Hundreds of movable tendrils, covered in leaves, able to flower at a moment’s notice.
Able to touch the world around them in new ways. To feel it.
To read it.
There. The tree again, see? It was an open book now. All its pages laid bare. Not that there was much to learn. Already, she craved more. The grass here. The bushes. None of it was enough. It was all too quaint. Too modest. Too naive.
She longed to visit a real forest. Now there would be knowledge. History. It would be incredible. She knew it would.
Without even thinking, she could feel herself reaching out.
To where? Her hand was on the tree again, but that wasn’t it. That wasn’t what she wanted. What she craved.
No, she was reaching far. Far, far. Beyond herself. Beyond this room. To the next sanctuary of green. There had to be one out there. She sensed it.
Agh, so far. This stupid Library. This stupid storm. On this stupid continent. Killing all the green. Never letting anything regrow. Such hatred and cruelty. Was there truly nothing to be found? Only dead earth and rocks? Stubborn old buildings and caged misery? Unnatural souls. Wrong, all of it. Ugly. Hateful.
Really? Nothing green left?
Ah! Over there. A distant speck. A verdant glimmer. Where, exactly?
In the heart of the storm.
But be careful.
Of course.
They moved together. Further. Deeper. Madega filled their minds.
Those teal leaves. There was something in that, wasn’t there? Some unifying force within that ancient coloration. A hallmark of the ancestors.
She wanted that. The added familiarity. The added warmth. Maybe it was nothing. Just sentimental nonsense. But she wanted. Desperately.
Fine.
From the vines, they budded out quickly. Tiny leaves. Numerous and teal. So many. Almost like a coating of feathers. They didn’t connect to her skin, though. They stayed on the vines, which also continued to grow and splay.
They were getting quite long now, weren’t they? Perhaps it was time to slow down.
No. There was new life there. Don’t you see? Mobility. Freedom. With a bit more, they would be able to control the vines like limbs.
What?
Yeah, see? Look. Look how they could move. They were prehensile, now.
Okay, okay. But this was already more than we agreed. We should ease off the gas.
Why?
These connections were beautiful. This network. All concentrated back into her brain. Hundreds of movable tendrils, covered in leaves, able to flower at a moment’s notice.
Able to touch the world around them in new ways. To feel it.
To read it.
There. The tree again, see? It was an open book now. All its pages laid bare. Not that there was much to learn. Already, she craved more. The grass here. The bushes. None of it was enough. It was all too quaint. Too modest. Too naive.
She longed to visit a real forest. Now there would be knowledge. History. It would be incredible. She knew it would.
Without even thinking, she could feel herself reaching out.
To where? Her hand was on the tree again, but that wasn’t it. That wasn’t what she wanted. What she craved.
No, she was reaching far. Far, far. Beyond herself. Beyond this room. To the next sanctuary of green. There had to be one out there. She sensed it.
Agh, so far. This stupid Library. This stupid storm. On this stupid continent. Killing all the green. Never letting anything regrow. Such hatred and cruelty. Was there truly nothing to be found? Only dead earth and rocks? Stubborn old buildings and caged misery? Unnatural souls. Wrong, all of it. Ugly. Hateful.
Really? Nothing green left?
Ah! Over there. A distant speck. A verdant glimmer. Where, exactly?
In the heart of the storm.
Friday, November 21, 2025
Next page on the 23rd
In the meantime, here's a joke for you.
The other day, I hit my funny bone, and I got really mad at it, because it kinda ruined my afternoon. I mean, can you believe that? The nerve.
The other day, I hit my funny bone, and I got really mad at it, because it kinda ruined my afternoon. I mean, can you believe that? The nerve.
Thursday, November 20, 2025
Page 3989
It did. It certainly did. And there was more, wasn’t there? Now that they were looking for it, they could see it with relative clarity.
This tree’s history. How far back it went. They could even see who’d planted it.
Not Gohvis. Hah. It really was the beetle-man. Her earlier guess had been spot on. What was his name? Emiliana didn’t--
Lucanus. Ah. Chergoa had learned it, hadn’t she? Always asking around and gathering intel. Of course she knew.
Hmph. Was there a hint of disapproval in that tone? What was so wrong about asking questions, huh? Had to find some way to fill the time while they were stuck here.
Heh. Sure. We both knew it went beyond that, though, didn’t we? There was no point in playing dumb, now. Scheming was one of your favorite activities, wasn’t it?
Uppity girl. Just ‘cuz a few things are suddenly clearer, don’t think you’ve got the whole world figured out. I’ll always have my secrets.
Yeah, okay.
They were abruptly interested in talking to Lucanus, now. He seemed like a pretty intimidating guy, even by the high standards of Gohvis’ other followers. But if he had a soft spot for the natural world like this, then maybe he wasn’t so scary. Maybe she could find some common ground with him.
Right now, though, the mutation was still ongoing. Still processing in her mind. How odd. That she could multitask so easily like this.
Was it odd? Seemed pretty normal, at this point.
It wasn’t, you little freak.
Whatever.
The vines kept growing. Kept extending. Falling down to her shoulders like a new layer of hair. Tiny leaves began to sprout here and there, and yes, even a few flower buds, green and waiting.
When should they stop?
That was the question, wasn’t it? She felt like she could keep going forever. And why shouldn’t she? It felt so nice, for a change. Such comfort and control.
Easy there. These changes were permanent, remember? And you still had your whole life to experiment with new things. No reason to take things so far on this first real try.
Maybe so. But this also felt like a rare moment. She was somehow certain that it wouldn’t be so simple to get herself back into this same headspace. This state of consciousness. Lakefire, it might even require another month of meditation, right?
That was highly unlikely. Progress had been made. But you were still worrying, weren’t you? Just in a new, weirdly confident way.
She disagreed. It sounded like YOU were the worrywart, this time. C’mon. They could handle a bit more, couldn’t they?
This tree’s history. How far back it went. They could even see who’d planted it.
Not Gohvis. Hah. It really was the beetle-man. Her earlier guess had been spot on. What was his name? Emiliana didn’t--
Lucanus. Ah. Chergoa had learned it, hadn’t she? Always asking around and gathering intel. Of course she knew.
Hmph. Was there a hint of disapproval in that tone? What was so wrong about asking questions, huh? Had to find some way to fill the time while they were stuck here.
Heh. Sure. We both knew it went beyond that, though, didn’t we? There was no point in playing dumb, now. Scheming was one of your favorite activities, wasn’t it?
Uppity girl. Just ‘cuz a few things are suddenly clearer, don’t think you’ve got the whole world figured out. I’ll always have my secrets.
Yeah, okay.
They were abruptly interested in talking to Lucanus, now. He seemed like a pretty intimidating guy, even by the high standards of Gohvis’ other followers. But if he had a soft spot for the natural world like this, then maybe he wasn’t so scary. Maybe she could find some common ground with him.
Right now, though, the mutation was still ongoing. Still processing in her mind. How odd. That she could multitask so easily like this.
Was it odd? Seemed pretty normal, at this point.
It wasn’t, you little freak.
Whatever.
The vines kept growing. Kept extending. Falling down to her shoulders like a new layer of hair. Tiny leaves began to sprout here and there, and yes, even a few flower buds, green and waiting.
When should they stop?
That was the question, wasn’t it? She felt like she could keep going forever. And why shouldn’t she? It felt so nice, for a change. Such comfort and control.
Easy there. These changes were permanent, remember? And you still had your whole life to experiment with new things. No reason to take things so far on this first real try.
Maybe so. But this also felt like a rare moment. She was somehow certain that it wouldn’t be so simple to get herself back into this same headspace. This state of consciousness. Lakefire, it might even require another month of meditation, right?
That was highly unlikely. Progress had been made. But you were still worrying, weren’t you? Just in a new, weirdly confident way.
She disagreed. It sounded like YOU were the worrywart, this time. C’mon. They could handle a bit more, couldn’t they?
Wednesday, November 19, 2025
Page 3988
The urge to panic arrived again, but it had no teeth. Everything was fine. They remained calm. This was her wish, too, wasn’t it? Her love of plants made manifest.
Did she want a sunflower in her hair?
No, that would be too much, surely. Too ambitious, don’t you think?
Why? They had so much room to work with here. Emiliana had already put this off for so long. Gained knowledge through study. Experience through meditation. Especially that last one, where she’d nearly gotten lost.
She could feel them, couldn’t she? Structurally, she understood them well enough, didn’t she? Albumins. Globulins. Prolamins. Glutelins. She was already wielding them, see? The proteins of botanic life. Merging with the keratin she already wielded. She didn’t need all of them here, unless she wanted to get crazy.
...Did she want to get crazy?
Okay, you needed to calm down. Power tripping wasn’t going to help anything, right now.
The temptation was certainly understandable, though. And what a difference it made, this feeling. Where before she’d felt afraid, now there was so much to look forward to.
Their hand had found the madega tree, they realized.
Wait. Madega tree? No, it wasn’t a madega. That hadn’t changed. She’d just gotten confused.
See? They were still confused. Don’t be so overconfident.
Fine, maybe that was a good point.
But still. The vines had so much room to grow. And she didn’t have to be afraid of them. They could be beautiful, just like she wanted.
More tiny horns emerged from within her hair, connecting with the vines, too. She could feel the link deeply. Like they were tapping directly into her brain.
Yes. That was it, wasn’t it? What she’d wanted all along? To modify her brain.
Wow.
Somehow, this whole process was feeling so satisfying. Dopamine release? Was she doing that herself? Or was it just happening as a side effect? Must’ve been a side effect, surely.
The tree again. Her mind kept going back to it. True, it wasn’t a madega, but she still felt a connection to it like never before. She could sense its full structure in her mind, even when looking the other way. Even with her eyes closed. She could sense every single leaf as if it were connected to her own body. Every hidden bud within its canopy. Ah, yes, it was indeed a birch. The catkins were not flowering, but she could sense where they would.
They had not flowered in a very long time, however. More than one season, certainly. In fact, perhaps they never had. How strange. Was it the fault of this peculiar environment? They were indoors, after all. Hardly an ideal location.
Hold on... How did she know how long it had been? Didn’t that go a bit beyond mere physical senses and botanical knowledge?
Did she want a sunflower in her hair?
No, that would be too much, surely. Too ambitious, don’t you think?
Why? They had so much room to work with here. Emiliana had already put this off for so long. Gained knowledge through study. Experience through meditation. Especially that last one, where she’d nearly gotten lost.
She could feel them, couldn’t she? Structurally, she understood them well enough, didn’t she? Albumins. Globulins. Prolamins. Glutelins. She was already wielding them, see? The proteins of botanic life. Merging with the keratin she already wielded. She didn’t need all of them here, unless she wanted to get crazy.
...Did she want to get crazy?
Okay, you needed to calm down. Power tripping wasn’t going to help anything, right now.
The temptation was certainly understandable, though. And what a difference it made, this feeling. Where before she’d felt afraid, now there was so much to look forward to.
Their hand had found the madega tree, they realized.
Wait. Madega tree? No, it wasn’t a madega. That hadn’t changed. She’d just gotten confused.
See? They were still confused. Don’t be so overconfident.
Fine, maybe that was a good point.
But still. The vines had so much room to grow. And she didn’t have to be afraid of them. They could be beautiful, just like she wanted.
More tiny horns emerged from within her hair, connecting with the vines, too. She could feel the link deeply. Like they were tapping directly into her brain.
Yes. That was it, wasn’t it? What she’d wanted all along? To modify her brain.
Wow.
Somehow, this whole process was feeling so satisfying. Dopamine release? Was she doing that herself? Or was it just happening as a side effect? Must’ve been a side effect, surely.
The tree again. Her mind kept going back to it. True, it wasn’t a madega, but she still felt a connection to it like never before. She could sense its full structure in her mind, even when looking the other way. Even with her eyes closed. She could sense every single leaf as if it were connected to her own body. Every hidden bud within its canopy. Ah, yes, it was indeed a birch. The catkins were not flowering, but she could sense where they would.
They had not flowered in a very long time, however. More than one season, certainly. In fact, perhaps they never had. How strange. Was it the fault of this peculiar environment? They were indoors, after all. Hardly an ideal location.
Hold on... How did she know how long it had been? Didn’t that go a bit beyond mere physical senses and botanical knowledge?
Tuesday, November 18, 2025
Page 3987
And indeed, the pressure on her mind seemed to lighten. The weight. The urgency. They didn’t vanish, but they felt abruptly more manageable. Like she could hold on a bit longer, perhaps.
Like the burning sun in her hand wasn’t about to reduce her to cinders.
She could feel her body again, as well. Her breath, too.
And Chergoa was there. Right there. Closer than ever before. It was so odd. Warm and welcome, but odd.
Thoughts began to stir, and she couldn’t even tell who they belonged to.
Of course she couldn’t. That was kinda the whole point, right? Silly girl. Stop being such a worrywart, already.
This pressing mutation. They could manage it. A burning sun in her hand, huh? No. That was the wrong way of perceiving it. Self-evidently problematic. Easily fixed, though. Perception was a simple enough thing to manipulate.
Not an orb, anymore. Now it was a little kid waiting in line. And not just any kid. It was Emiliana herself. A child, standing there patiently. Obedient. Calm. Not in a rush.
Familiar, eh? Being rebellious was overrated, after all. She’d always felt that way, hadn’t she? She’d learned how not to behave from Gema. And maybe Cisco, too.
Agh. Just thinking about them hurt, though. As annoying as they were, she ached to see them again. Ramira, too.
Marcos could wait a little longer. The brat deserved it.
Then again, perhaps it helped a bit that she already knew that he and Ramira were both safe with Hector and Papa. Less reason to worry about them.
Focus. It wouldn’t do to leave baby Emiliana waiting for long, now would it? Wait, she was a baby now? Not even a kid? Eh, sure, why not?
Together, they knelt down and took the child into their arms. A loving embrace. Nothing to fear. No worry to be found.
And finally, the change arrived. All at once. Still overwhelming.
The child wasn’t a child, after all. That was just a trick of perception. It had desires of its own. A will and a demand.
But they were also hers. She understood that now. Chergoa knew what to look for. When to push. When to pull. When to welcome. When to resist.
Of the four little horns that were stuck on Emiliana’s face, the two higher ones began to bud. Specks of green sprouted from them, slowly, slowly, ever slowly, turning gradually into vines and leaves, dangling down her cheeks and also splitting off to extend around her head. They reached behind her ears and attached themselves there, right into her flesh, where new horns--tinier ones--grew out as connecting points.
Like the burning sun in her hand wasn’t about to reduce her to cinders.
She could feel her body again, as well. Her breath, too.
And Chergoa was there. Right there. Closer than ever before. It was so odd. Warm and welcome, but odd.
Thoughts began to stir, and she couldn’t even tell who they belonged to.
Of course she couldn’t. That was kinda the whole point, right? Silly girl. Stop being such a worrywart, already.
This pressing mutation. They could manage it. A burning sun in her hand, huh? No. That was the wrong way of perceiving it. Self-evidently problematic. Easily fixed, though. Perception was a simple enough thing to manipulate.
Not an orb, anymore. Now it was a little kid waiting in line. And not just any kid. It was Emiliana herself. A child, standing there patiently. Obedient. Calm. Not in a rush.
Familiar, eh? Being rebellious was overrated, after all. She’d always felt that way, hadn’t she? She’d learned how not to behave from Gema. And maybe Cisco, too.
Agh. Just thinking about them hurt, though. As annoying as they were, she ached to see them again. Ramira, too.
Marcos could wait a little longer. The brat deserved it.
Then again, perhaps it helped a bit that she already knew that he and Ramira were both safe with Hector and Papa. Less reason to worry about them.
Focus. It wouldn’t do to leave baby Emiliana waiting for long, now would it? Wait, she was a baby now? Not even a kid? Eh, sure, why not?
Together, they knelt down and took the child into their arms. A loving embrace. Nothing to fear. No worry to be found.
And finally, the change arrived. All at once. Still overwhelming.
The child wasn’t a child, after all. That was just a trick of perception. It had desires of its own. A will and a demand.
But they were also hers. She understood that now. Chergoa knew what to look for. When to push. When to pull. When to welcome. When to resist.
Of the four little horns that were stuck on Emiliana’s face, the two higher ones began to bud. Specks of green sprouted from them, slowly, slowly, ever slowly, turning gradually into vines and leaves, dangling down her cheeks and also splitting off to extend around her head. They reached behind her ears and attached themselves there, right into her flesh, where new horns--tinier ones--grew out as connecting points.
Monday, November 17, 2025
Page 3986
The ball of fire in her hand began to bubble. Moments from bursting. And she’d lost control.
Chergoa, please...!
‘I’m here, Em.’
She felt new life surge into her as those words found her mind. ‘Chergoa!’ Where was she? Emiliana still couldn’t see her. She couldn’t see anything.
‘Listen to me. We’re gonna merge. Right here. Right now.’
‘I--ah--but we’ve--’
‘Never done it before, yeah. But it’s okay. Pan-wzrost is way easier than the other hyper-states. There’s nothing to worry about.’
That sounded like a lie, but Emiliana appreciated the confidence in the reaper’s tone, at least. ‘What if it’s too soon for us?’
‘It’s not.’
Yeah, that was definitely a lie. ‘It’s not worth the risk, Chergoa. I’ll be fine. The mutation will only... it’ll only affect me... so... just... don’t--’
‘It’ll be fine. After we merge, I’ll take some of the mental pressure off you.’
‘But--you have even less experience than I do!’
‘Girl, I am three thousand years old. I’ve done this plenty of times.’
‘You’re lying...’
‘No, I’m not. You’re just panicking. Listen to my voice. I’m going to start the merge. Everything will be fine. Just don’t freak out when you start seeing all my memories. I’ve borne witness to some pretty fucked up shit, so just try and focus on the present, if you can.’
‘Oh, god...’
‘Here we go.’
And then Emiliana felt extremely strange. Like her mind was being stretched across her whole body. From her skull down into her feet. Nameless sensations filled her thoughts, pushing out anything logical or coherent, overwhelming her with foreign feelings.
Which was not entirely unfamiliar, oddly enough. This was, in some respect, how it felt when glimpsing Agam’s knowledge--or at least, it seemed to be. Somehow, this was putting those prior moments into a new context. A clearer view, when they’d previously been so confusing and vague.
Perhaps because this was so much more potent. There was no uncertainty about what was happening here. This was Chergoa’s mind melding with hers.
Present. She needed to stay present.
But there was so much. The reaper hadn’t been lying. Not about her history, at least. She really was three thousand years old, wasn’t she?
‘Don’t wander,’ came the reaper’s voice again, this time with much more power behind it, reverberating all around. ‘We’re together now. Stay with me.’
Emiliana listened. It took all she had, but she listened.
Chergoa, please...!
‘I’m here, Em.’
She felt new life surge into her as those words found her mind. ‘Chergoa!’ Where was she? Emiliana still couldn’t see her. She couldn’t see anything.
‘Listen to me. We’re gonna merge. Right here. Right now.’
‘I--ah--but we’ve--’
‘Never done it before, yeah. But it’s okay. Pan-wzrost is way easier than the other hyper-states. There’s nothing to worry about.’
That sounded like a lie, but Emiliana appreciated the confidence in the reaper’s tone, at least. ‘What if it’s too soon for us?’
‘It’s not.’
Yeah, that was definitely a lie. ‘It’s not worth the risk, Chergoa. I’ll be fine. The mutation will only... it’ll only affect me... so... just... don’t--’
‘It’ll be fine. After we merge, I’ll take some of the mental pressure off you.’
‘But--you have even less experience than I do!’
‘Girl, I am three thousand years old. I’ve done this plenty of times.’
‘You’re lying...’
‘No, I’m not. You’re just panicking. Listen to my voice. I’m going to start the merge. Everything will be fine. Just don’t freak out when you start seeing all my memories. I’ve borne witness to some pretty fucked up shit, so just try and focus on the present, if you can.’
‘Oh, god...’
‘Here we go.’
And then Emiliana felt extremely strange. Like her mind was being stretched across her whole body. From her skull down into her feet. Nameless sensations filled her thoughts, pushing out anything logical or coherent, overwhelming her with foreign feelings.
Which was not entirely unfamiliar, oddly enough. This was, in some respect, how it felt when glimpsing Agam’s knowledge--or at least, it seemed to be. Somehow, this was putting those prior moments into a new context. A clearer view, when they’d previously been so confusing and vague.
Perhaps because this was so much more potent. There was no uncertainty about what was happening here. This was Chergoa’s mind melding with hers.
Present. She needed to stay present.
But there was so much. The reaper hadn’t been lying. Not about her history, at least. She really was three thousand years old, wasn’t she?
‘Don’t wander,’ came the reaper’s voice again, this time with much more power behind it, reverberating all around. ‘We’re together now. Stay with me.’
Emiliana listened. It took all she had, but she listened.
Sunday, November 16, 2025
Page 3985
The procedure started. She felt it. Almost on its own. A transformation on the surface of her mind. She steadied it. Guided it. Traced its path along her skull.
She envisioned her desire. A new connection in her mind. A way to see more of the world. To reveal its secrets. In the trees, especially. In this tree, right in front of her. There was more it could tell. In her heart, she knew that to be true.
And Agam’s knowledge was there, too. Whispering to her. This was possible. Along with so much more.
But how, exactly? A new connection? With what materials? Proteins? Keratin? Injecting right onto the surface of her brain?
Fear was back. Doubt. Worry. And this time, they had teeth to them. Merit. Not killed so easily.
She felt herself faltering. What was she thinking? All this confidence? She was still so young. Inexperienced. Her first real attempt at using mutation was on her own brain? Had she gone mad?
Quite possibly. She and Chergoa hadn’t even utilized pan-wzrost yet. That hyper-state was supposed to be key for helping both integration and mutation users to expand their repertoire. Their material base. All she had currently was keratin.
Realistically. Logically. Reasonably. That was simply not enough.
Agam’s knowledge was the source of her confidence, but was that not still foolish? The man’s knowledge was not the man himself. Nor was it complete.
Chergoa. Where was Chergoa? Emiliana desperately wanted the reaper’s help, right now, if only to hear her voice. That always seemed to calm her.
But she felt so lost. Stuck in a labyrinth of her own mind with a burning orb in her hand. A raging star, threatening her with its plasma.
The mutation was ready. Waiting for her. She’d provoked it. Too late for cold feet now, it told her. Don’t succumb to fear. Where had all that certainty gone? Where was Agam?
He’d never been there, of course. She didn’t actually know him.
Agh. She was trembling now. Physically. She could feel it.
Chergoa. Chergoa, please...
She tried to reach out. With her thoughts. Were they getting through? She couldn’t even tell. She was stuck. In this headspace. Wherever it was.
The emotions were boiling now. She felt them all around her. Not touching her quite yet, thankfully. Not infecting her with their disorder. Their chaos. But they were right there. Ready to wash over her like a flood.
This was going bad. Of course it was. She was an overconfident child. An idiot out of her depth. And she was about to break. The mutation was going to be so bad. Worse than she could possibly imagine. A nightmare carved into her flesh for the rest of her life.
She envisioned her desire. A new connection in her mind. A way to see more of the world. To reveal its secrets. In the trees, especially. In this tree, right in front of her. There was more it could tell. In her heart, she knew that to be true.
And Agam’s knowledge was there, too. Whispering to her. This was possible. Along with so much more.
But how, exactly? A new connection? With what materials? Proteins? Keratin? Injecting right onto the surface of her brain?
Fear was back. Doubt. Worry. And this time, they had teeth to them. Merit. Not killed so easily.
She felt herself faltering. What was she thinking? All this confidence? She was still so young. Inexperienced. Her first real attempt at using mutation was on her own brain? Had she gone mad?
Quite possibly. She and Chergoa hadn’t even utilized pan-wzrost yet. That hyper-state was supposed to be key for helping both integration and mutation users to expand their repertoire. Their material base. All she had currently was keratin.
Realistically. Logically. Reasonably. That was simply not enough.
Agam’s knowledge was the source of her confidence, but was that not still foolish? The man’s knowledge was not the man himself. Nor was it complete.
Chergoa. Where was Chergoa? Emiliana desperately wanted the reaper’s help, right now, if only to hear her voice. That always seemed to calm her.
But she felt so lost. Stuck in a labyrinth of her own mind with a burning orb in her hand. A raging star, threatening her with its plasma.
The mutation was ready. Waiting for her. She’d provoked it. Too late for cold feet now, it told her. Don’t succumb to fear. Where had all that certainty gone? Where was Agam?
He’d never been there, of course. She didn’t actually know him.
Agh. She was trembling now. Physically. She could feel it.
Chergoa. Chergoa, please...
She tried to reach out. With her thoughts. Were they getting through? She couldn’t even tell. She was stuck. In this headspace. Wherever it was.
The emotions were boiling now. She felt them all around her. Not touching her quite yet, thankfully. Not infecting her with their disorder. Their chaos. But they were right there. Ready to wash over her like a flood.
This was going bad. Of course it was. She was an overconfident child. An idiot out of her depth. And she was about to break. The mutation was going to be so bad. Worse than she could possibly imagine. A nightmare carved into her flesh for the rest of her life.
Saturday, November 15, 2025
Page 3984
Nothing was making sense, anymore. She felt a deep sense of understanding; she felt like she had no idea what she was doing. She had confidence; she was more scared than ever. She wanted to accomplish something with her power for once; she knew that it could still go horribly wrong. She had all this new knowledge; she was still utterly ignorant.
What had all that meditation been for? Had she achieved anything? She still felt exhausted by it. Tired and hungry. Mentally drained. Maybe it would be better to stop worrying about this, for now. Try again later. After some more food. And sleep, maybe.
Yes.
Yes...
No...
No.
She felt like she could see what would happen to her if she did that. If she relaxed too much now.
She would lose her nerve. She would get comfortable again. Comfortable and complacent. And she would put it off. Rely on Sto to delay, delay, delay. Again and again. As much as possible.
Perhaps that was the real purpose of the meditation. To prepare her own mind. To wear down her defenses. Her mental blocks. To ready herself for precisely this decision. This moment.
This leap.
Yes. That was what it was, wasn’t it? Using her power deliberately. Strongly. With concentration and effort. The power that had gripped her with fear ever since she discovered it. She was jumping off a cliff here. She didn’t have the guts for it before, and if she let herself go back to normal, she would encounter the same story later.
She had to stop worrying so much. She had to take the leap.
Or maybe she already had? Maybe the changes had already started? She did feel a little different. But was that all it was? Just a feeling? No, she needed more. Something stronger. A greater sensation. Deeper.
In her mind. Maybe Gohvis was right. Maybe this was stupid. But caution was gone. Slain.
She could feel her own brain. In her hand. As if her forehead wasn’t even there. No skin. No skull. No blood. No flesh. Just her mind. Wrinkles and all. Physically. In her hand.
Fear reared up. She killed it. Disgust arrived. She tore it to pieces.
How?
Easiest thing in the world. They were nothing. Biologic illusions. Ghosts of the flesh, at most. They didn’t matter at all. Only she did, right now. Only her objective. Her purpose. Her knowledge. Her understanding. Herself.
What had all that meditation been for? Had she achieved anything? She still felt exhausted by it. Tired and hungry. Mentally drained. Maybe it would be better to stop worrying about this, for now. Try again later. After some more food. And sleep, maybe.
Yes.
Yes...
No...
No.
She felt like she could see what would happen to her if she did that. If she relaxed too much now.
She would lose her nerve. She would get comfortable again. Comfortable and complacent. And she would put it off. Rely on Sto to delay, delay, delay. Again and again. As much as possible.
Perhaps that was the real purpose of the meditation. To prepare her own mind. To wear down her defenses. Her mental blocks. To ready herself for precisely this decision. This moment.
This leap.
Yes. That was what it was, wasn’t it? Using her power deliberately. Strongly. With concentration and effort. The power that had gripped her with fear ever since she discovered it. She was jumping off a cliff here. She didn’t have the guts for it before, and if she let herself go back to normal, she would encounter the same story later.
She had to stop worrying so much. She had to take the leap.
Or maybe she already had? Maybe the changes had already started? She did feel a little different. But was that all it was? Just a feeling? No, she needed more. Something stronger. A greater sensation. Deeper.
In her mind. Maybe Gohvis was right. Maybe this was stupid. But caution was gone. Slain.
She could feel her own brain. In her hand. As if her forehead wasn’t even there. No skin. No skull. No blood. No flesh. Just her mind. Wrinkles and all. Physically. In her hand.
Fear reared up. She killed it. Disgust arrived. She tore it to pieces.
How?
Easiest thing in the world. They were nothing. Biologic illusions. Ghosts of the flesh, at most. They didn’t matter at all. Only she did, right now. Only her objective. Her purpose. Her knowledge. Her understanding. Herself.
Wednesday, November 12, 2025
Tuesday, November 11, 2025
Page 3983
History. Everyone. The Rainlords in their totality.
She could hardly believe what she was perceiving, right now. If homesickness was something that could be cured in an instant, then this might be the way it was accomplished.
She felt such familiarity and warmth. Indescribable to anyone who might’ve asked her.
But she did understand something like never before.
This was what madega trees were. What they were for. Why they’d been created.
Yes.
This was also why their physical characteristics could vary. Sure, the color of their leaves was always the same, but the shape was not. Some were long and thin, others flat and wide, while still others were small and angular.
It wasn’t just variance in the genus to which they belonged. It was because all madegas were, in fact, conversions of other dendrological subjects. Even the Great Madega Tree in the heart of Aguarey. That, too, had once been a different species.
How long ago?
Millennia.
She could see it. She could see them. The most ancient of her ancestors.
The Armans.
From so many angles. So many lives. Moments of love. Moments of strife. Families together in their homes. Battlefields ablaze. Laughter. Explosions. Was that Red Lake Castle being built?
Emiliana wanted to pause and watch it all. Sort through it in fine detail. But it was all too ephemeral. Too hard to latch onto with her mind.
Were you in there, Agam? You had to be, didn’t you? Even if your consciousness wasn’t there, your history must’ve still been visible. If she could just find it...
Agh.
Maybe if this tree was a madega. Maybe if she could transform it. Mutate it. Bend the world to her will. Her power.
It felt possible. She didn’t know why or how, but it felt that way.
She opened her eyes. She didn’t recall closing them, but it didn’t matter. The tree. She looked at the tree anew. Had it changed? Had she mutated it?
...No.
It looked entirely the same.
Same smooth, white bark. Same green leaves. Same feeling against her hand. Same presence in her mind.
Disappointment filled her head, pushing out everything else. Of course it hadn’t worked. When did anything go the way she wanted? She hadn’t even known what she was doing in the first place. All that studying she’d done, and for what? In the end, she’d just been moving according to her feelings. No reasoning. No logic.
Just wandering in the dark, trying not to bump into walls.
Her hand left the tree and found her forehead, instead.
She could hardly believe what she was perceiving, right now. If homesickness was something that could be cured in an instant, then this might be the way it was accomplished.
She felt such familiarity and warmth. Indescribable to anyone who might’ve asked her.
But she did understand something like never before.
This was what madega trees were. What they were for. Why they’d been created.
Yes.
This was also why their physical characteristics could vary. Sure, the color of their leaves was always the same, but the shape was not. Some were long and thin, others flat and wide, while still others were small and angular.
It wasn’t just variance in the genus to which they belonged. It was because all madegas were, in fact, conversions of other dendrological subjects. Even the Great Madega Tree in the heart of Aguarey. That, too, had once been a different species.
How long ago?
Millennia.
She could see it. She could see them. The most ancient of her ancestors.
The Armans.
From so many angles. So many lives. Moments of love. Moments of strife. Families together in their homes. Battlefields ablaze. Laughter. Explosions. Was that Red Lake Castle being built?
Emiliana wanted to pause and watch it all. Sort through it in fine detail. But it was all too ephemeral. Too hard to latch onto with her mind.
Were you in there, Agam? You had to be, didn’t you? Even if your consciousness wasn’t there, your history must’ve still been visible. If she could just find it...
Agh.
Maybe if this tree was a madega. Maybe if she could transform it. Mutate it. Bend the world to her will. Her power.
It felt possible. She didn’t know why or how, but it felt that way.
She opened her eyes. She didn’t recall closing them, but it didn’t matter. The tree. She looked at the tree anew. Had it changed? Had she mutated it?
...No.
It looked entirely the same.
Same smooth, white bark. Same green leaves. Same feeling against her hand. Same presence in her mind.
Disappointment filled her head, pushing out everything else. Of course it hadn’t worked. When did anything go the way she wanted? She hadn’t even known what she was doing in the first place. All that studying she’d done, and for what? In the end, she’d just been moving according to her feelings. No reasoning. No logic.
Just wandering in the dark, trying not to bump into walls.
Her hand left the tree and found her forehead, instead.
Monday, November 10, 2025
Page 3982
Her ancestor?
Agam?
She’d been trying to learn anything and everything she could about him, but it was difficult. Even with Ibai gifting her Agam’s book, The Many Mysteries of Mutation, she hadn’t made much progress. That thing’s text was about as elucidating as a brick wall.
Or maybe she simply needed to open her mind a bit more. Being so rigid in her thinking wasn’t going to help her in the long run, even if it did have its benefits, in some ways.
She blinked.
Again, that didn’t seem like a thought that had originated with her.
Phew. She felt so strange, right now. Was Agam still alive in her mind? Or... did she simply possess knowledge from him?
She waited, but this time, no answer arose. Perhaps there was none to be found.
What she did know of Agam, at least, was that he was a brilliant mutator. It seemed to her that he could’ve been capable of some truly unprecedented things--things that she, inexperienced as she still was, couldn’t even imagine.
Maybe even some things that Gohvis didn’t know about.
What other explanation could there be for him wanting to study the anomalous link between them? If this link was somehow Agam’s doing, and Gohvis didn’t already understand it, then wasn’t that the logical conclusion?
Gohvis was trying to learn about Agam, too. Or about something he accomplished. Perhaps some sort of work or research that he left behind.
Careful, she told herself. Reading too much into Gohvis’ intentions was danger, she felt.
He was more volatile than he seemed. More emotional. More vulnerable.
More deadly.
Emiliana frowned. She didn’t need more reasons to fear Gohvis. Lakefire, she already felt like he might suddenly appear whenever her mind wandered to him, as if the very thoughts themselves could summon him.
But she wanted to stay on task here. Agam or not, the only thing that mattered at the moment was this mutation. If he was there with her, then he should focus on helping her, not distracting her.
Hmm.
She felt good for a change. In control of something for once. Even if it was only an illusion.
This birch tree. Her hand hadn’t left its bark. It was a fine thing. But it could be better. A proper conduction point. A true inheritance.
What?
Madega trees filled her mind. Images and memories. A sea. An ocean, even. Too grand, too vast, too much to perceive at once. But the feelings were there. Washing over her.
Agam?
She’d been trying to learn anything and everything she could about him, but it was difficult. Even with Ibai gifting her Agam’s book, The Many Mysteries of Mutation, she hadn’t made much progress. That thing’s text was about as elucidating as a brick wall.
Or maybe she simply needed to open her mind a bit more. Being so rigid in her thinking wasn’t going to help her in the long run, even if it did have its benefits, in some ways.
She blinked.
Again, that didn’t seem like a thought that had originated with her.
Phew. She felt so strange, right now. Was Agam still alive in her mind? Or... did she simply possess knowledge from him?
She waited, but this time, no answer arose. Perhaps there was none to be found.
What she did know of Agam, at least, was that he was a brilliant mutator. It seemed to her that he could’ve been capable of some truly unprecedented things--things that she, inexperienced as she still was, couldn’t even imagine.
Maybe even some things that Gohvis didn’t know about.
What other explanation could there be for him wanting to study the anomalous link between them? If this link was somehow Agam’s doing, and Gohvis didn’t already understand it, then wasn’t that the logical conclusion?
Gohvis was trying to learn about Agam, too. Or about something he accomplished. Perhaps some sort of work or research that he left behind.
Careful, she told herself. Reading too much into Gohvis’ intentions was danger, she felt.
He was more volatile than he seemed. More emotional. More vulnerable.
More deadly.
Emiliana frowned. She didn’t need more reasons to fear Gohvis. Lakefire, she already felt like he might suddenly appear whenever her mind wandered to him, as if the very thoughts themselves could summon him.
But she wanted to stay on task here. Agam or not, the only thing that mattered at the moment was this mutation. If he was there with her, then he should focus on helping her, not distracting her.
Hmm.
She felt good for a change. In control of something for once. Even if it was only an illusion.
This birch tree. Her hand hadn’t left its bark. It was a fine thing. But it could be better. A proper conduction point. A true inheritance.
What?
Madega trees filled her mind. Images and memories. A sea. An ocean, even. Too grand, too vast, too much to perceive at once. But the feelings were there. Washing over her.
Sunday, November 9, 2025
Page 3981
Yes. This was a better state of mind to be in. No fear. No turmoil. Just collected and confident.
Confident? She was confident?
Somehow, that realization surprised her. But she was. After all her training. Meditating. Studying. Learning about the nature of mutation. Obviously, she still had a long way to go, but...
Yes. She could handle it. She knew she could. Like a test that she’d spent too long preparing for. It used to scare her but not anymore. Now she just wanted to get it over and done with. To move on with her life already.
It was just a matter of deciding what to do with it.
She had ideas. She’d had them for a while now.
Perhaps she could do something about the obstruction in her vision. But the eyes were quite delicate, and oddly enough, she’d grown accustomed to it by now. It didn’t feel terribly urgent.
Madly, she was considering trying to modify her own brain. She knew she shouldn’t. Gohvis had already told her that it was the single-most difficult thing to conduct a successful mutation on, because any mistakes would be exceptionally punishing.
But it was still tempting because the rewards were, perhaps, proportional to that risk.
And of course, internal mutations were simply more appealing to her generally. She very much wanted to keep her outward appearance the same. These claws and horns were already bad enough. She dreaded the thought of making a change that couldn’t be concealed with gloves or a mask.
But no. She was being shallow and silly. Childish. The brain was too dangerous to even countenance at this point.
No, it wasn’t. She’d done it before. Quite easily, in fact.
She paused.
These thoughts. These feelings. Not hers, she realized.
And yet, she also... understood that they were. Even if they hadn’t originated with her, who else did they now belong to if not her?
Memories.
Memories of mutation. Long study. Not unlike what she’d been doing in these recent months.
There was no reason to be fearful, they told her. Gohvis was a liar. The brain wasn’t the most difficult at all.
The soul was.
He just didn’t want her pursuing that avenue of power and potentially disrupting his study. That was where their precious “link” resided, after all.
Emiliana had to stop and breathe as she processed those thoughts. Where were they coming from? How did she know these things? Why did they feel so compelling?
Confident? She was confident?
Somehow, that realization surprised her. But she was. After all her training. Meditating. Studying. Learning about the nature of mutation. Obviously, she still had a long way to go, but...
Yes. She could handle it. She knew she could. Like a test that she’d spent too long preparing for. It used to scare her but not anymore. Now she just wanted to get it over and done with. To move on with her life already.
It was just a matter of deciding what to do with it.
She had ideas. She’d had them for a while now.
Perhaps she could do something about the obstruction in her vision. But the eyes were quite delicate, and oddly enough, she’d grown accustomed to it by now. It didn’t feel terribly urgent.
Madly, she was considering trying to modify her own brain. She knew she shouldn’t. Gohvis had already told her that it was the single-most difficult thing to conduct a successful mutation on, because any mistakes would be exceptionally punishing.
But it was still tempting because the rewards were, perhaps, proportional to that risk.
And of course, internal mutations were simply more appealing to her generally. She very much wanted to keep her outward appearance the same. These claws and horns were already bad enough. She dreaded the thought of making a change that couldn’t be concealed with gloves or a mask.
But no. She was being shallow and silly. Childish. The brain was too dangerous to even countenance at this point.
No, it wasn’t. She’d done it before. Quite easily, in fact.
She paused.
These thoughts. These feelings. Not hers, she realized.
And yet, she also... understood that they were. Even if they hadn’t originated with her, who else did they now belong to if not her?
Memories.
Memories of mutation. Long study. Not unlike what she’d been doing in these recent months.
There was no reason to be fearful, they told her. Gohvis was a liar. The brain wasn’t the most difficult at all.
The soul was.
He just didn’t want her pursuing that avenue of power and potentially disrupting his study. That was where their precious “link” resided, after all.
Emiliana had to stop and breathe as she processed those thoughts. Where were they coming from? How did she know these things? Why did they feel so compelling?
Saturday, November 8, 2025
Friday, November 7, 2025
Page 3980
Here. This next room. This was the one. Even before entering it, she could tell. And the moment her bare foot touched the grass, she immediately felt different. Not relief, precisely, but a sense of familiarity, at least. Belonging, even.
A calm came over her. The anger settled.
Then questions began to arise.
How were these plants even alive? There was light, but it couldn’t be from the sun, so where was it coming from?
There were lamps along the walls, just like the rest of Library, but there was one in particular--a suspended orb, brighter than all the rest combined. It was difficult even to look at, making her squint. Oddly enough, her previous mutations helped a bit, because one of them had obscured her vision slightly, adding a splotchy filter over her pupils that usually made it harder for her to see, not easier.
But here, the faint tint that it provided allowed her to see the orb’s shape despite its brightness--as well as the fact that it was hanging on a thin rod from the ceiling.
Her attention didn’t stay on that for very long, though. She could worry about it later. Right now, she only cared about the flora.
The green.
There wasn’t much. It was a modest chamber. But it was something.
And there was a tree. A real, live tree. A few shrubs. No sunflowers or roses, unfortunately. Or any flowers at all, apparently. But oh well. The tree alone was enough for her, right now. And the grass between her toes. She was abruptly glad that she’d gotten into the habit of meditating without shoes or socks on.
This tree, though. What was it? Smooth white bark. Large green leaves. Birch? Hmm. It seemed like a perfectly normal tree--which made it all the more peculiar, given where it was growing. She had a hard time imaging Gohvis planting this thing, so perhaps one of Gohvis’ followers was responsible?
She recalled seeing a beetle-man roaming around, from time to time. Even though she’d never actually spoken to him, this somehow felt like it might be his doing. That guess was probably wrong, though.
Chergoa was saying something, but Emiliana wasn’t listening. The feel of the bark on her palm was too important, right now.
Because despite everything else, despite the anger leaving her and returning to her mind, she still felt the pressing desire to harness her mutation power. Proactively. Properly.
A calm came over her. The anger settled.
Then questions began to arise.
How were these plants even alive? There was light, but it couldn’t be from the sun, so where was it coming from?
There were lamps along the walls, just like the rest of Library, but there was one in particular--a suspended orb, brighter than all the rest combined. It was difficult even to look at, making her squint. Oddly enough, her previous mutations helped a bit, because one of them had obscured her vision slightly, adding a splotchy filter over her pupils that usually made it harder for her to see, not easier.
But here, the faint tint that it provided allowed her to see the orb’s shape despite its brightness--as well as the fact that it was hanging on a thin rod from the ceiling.
Her attention didn’t stay on that for very long, though. She could worry about it later. Right now, she only cared about the flora.
The green.
There wasn’t much. It was a modest chamber. But it was something.
And there was a tree. A real, live tree. A few shrubs. No sunflowers or roses, unfortunately. Or any flowers at all, apparently. But oh well. The tree alone was enough for her, right now. And the grass between her toes. She was abruptly glad that she’d gotten into the habit of meditating without shoes or socks on.
This tree, though. What was it? Smooth white bark. Large green leaves. Birch? Hmm. It seemed like a perfectly normal tree--which made it all the more peculiar, given where it was growing. She had a hard time imaging Gohvis planting this thing, so perhaps one of Gohvis’ followers was responsible?
She recalled seeing a beetle-man roaming around, from time to time. Even though she’d never actually spoken to him, this somehow felt like it might be his doing. That guess was probably wrong, though.
Chergoa was saying something, but Emiliana wasn’t listening. The feel of the bark on her palm was too important, right now.
Because despite everything else, despite the anger leaving her and returning to her mind, she still felt the pressing desire to harness her mutation power. Proactively. Properly.
Thursday, November 6, 2025
Page 3979
And after a few moments of silence, the wall split right in front of her, solid bricks parting down the middle as if there’d been a crack there all along. The stone vanished horizontally into itself on either side, creating an open doorway for her.
She didn’t care. Didn’t question. She just pushed through. Feeling her way towards her destination. Not even using her eyes to guide her.
The back of her mind became abruptly aware of how strange this all was. She was able to take a step back and look at herself, almost like an out-of-body experience. Assessing the situation.
Feeling her way? Feeling how? Where were these feelings coming from?
Her brain, obviously. Her heart. Her soul?
The horns on her face.
That one was peculiar. Yes. The others were vague enough to be believable, sure. But that one--that one she could actually feel with certainty. The stubby little horns that had grown out of her face when her mutation ability first manifested all the way back in Aguarey--they were reacting.
They’d never done that before. Or at least, she hadn’t noticed it before. But here and now, with the benefit of this secondary thought process, she could tell clear as day. The horns were sensing things. Guiding her as if with a mind of their own? No. Of course not. She was simply using them. She didn’t understand how, but she wanted to know something, and they were helping her find it.
What did she want to know? That was the question. In the front of her mind, she had no idea. Guided by feeling. That was all. But in the back...?
In the back of her mind, the big picture was clearer. Obvious, even.
She wanted to see home. To sense it. To visit. To feel it. To know it.
And finally, as she pushed through more hallways, navigated into more rooms, she began to understand.
She sensed a sanctuary of vegetation somewhere around here. Unfortunately, there was no madega tree, as far as she could tell, but still. It was a group of living, breathing flora in the middle of this ancient Library.
In the middle of this dead continent called Exoltha.
That was the real issue, wasn’t it? During all her time here, she hadn’t seen an ounce of greenery anywhere, other than, perhaps, in pictures. Paintings. Artwork. Some of the books had those, of course.
This was not that, though. This was actual life. Surviving in an impossible environment.
And she had to find it. See it. Touch it.
She didn’t care. Didn’t question. She just pushed through. Feeling her way towards her destination. Not even using her eyes to guide her.
The back of her mind became abruptly aware of how strange this all was. She was able to take a step back and look at herself, almost like an out-of-body experience. Assessing the situation.
Feeling her way? Feeling how? Where were these feelings coming from?
Her brain, obviously. Her heart. Her soul?
The horns on her face.
That one was peculiar. Yes. The others were vague enough to be believable, sure. But that one--that one she could actually feel with certainty. The stubby little horns that had grown out of her face when her mutation ability first manifested all the way back in Aguarey--they were reacting.
They’d never done that before. Or at least, she hadn’t noticed it before. But here and now, with the benefit of this secondary thought process, she could tell clear as day. The horns were sensing things. Guiding her as if with a mind of their own? No. Of course not. She was simply using them. She didn’t understand how, but she wanted to know something, and they were helping her find it.
What did she want to know? That was the question. In the front of her mind, she had no idea. Guided by feeling. That was all. But in the back...?
In the back of her mind, the big picture was clearer. Obvious, even.
She wanted to see home. To sense it. To visit. To feel it. To know it.
And finally, as she pushed through more hallways, navigated into more rooms, she began to understand.
She sensed a sanctuary of vegetation somewhere around here. Unfortunately, there was no madega tree, as far as she could tell, but still. It was a group of living, breathing flora in the middle of this ancient Library.
In the middle of this dead continent called Exoltha.
That was the real issue, wasn’t it? During all her time here, she hadn’t seen an ounce of greenery anywhere, other than, perhaps, in pictures. Paintings. Artwork. Some of the books had those, of course.
This was not that, though. This was actual life. Surviving in an impossible environment.
And she had to find it. See it. Touch it.
Wednesday, November 5, 2025
Page 3978
Yes. Unprovoked. That was the bad thing, ultimately. She was tired of that. Tired of being scared of the inevitable. The changes were coming, one way or another. She’d already come to terms with that fact by now.
Which meant that there was only one thing to do be done.
She had to provoke them. She had to take control.
That was what she’d been training for all these months, wasn’t it? It wasn’t for Gohvis’ sake. She didn’t care one whit about helping him “study their link” or whatever nonsense he’d spouted before.
She just wanted to feel some semblance of power over her own life again.
Her sweet Papa had offered her some of that, hadn’t he? When he certainly didn’t have to. The marriage offer that he’d turned down. She knew about it. He’d done that for her sake. To let her make her own decisions.
Oh, Papa...
Why had her mind gone to him now? Even with all the anger boiling up inside her, the heartache she felt was still there, as strong as ever. Lakefire, maybe even stronger.
She longed to see everyone again, but especially him. Moisture attacked her eyes, but she held it at bay.
The other half of her mind was staying focused, though. On her goal. On her foremost desire.
But where were her legs taking her? Her pace had quickened, somehow, and yet she still did not know where she was going? Did she even have a direction? Did she need one?
Yes. Yes, she did. And she knew it. Felt it.
There was a room ahead. Two halls down and on the right. On the other side of a wall. But this stone--agh, it was in the way. Was there no doorway? She felt all along the flat gray surface, feeling a frustration that she could not articulate. This stupid Library. Playing tricks. Making mazes.
“Having trouble?” came Ibai’s voice again, causing Emiliana to turn and see him following her, along with Chergoa.
Her voice was catching, though. The words didn’t want to come out. Or maybe she didn’t even know the right ones in the first place. Just anger.
He didn’t ask what she was doing. Bless him for not asking that. She wouldn’t have been able to answer. Instead, he stepped up beside her and touched the wall, too. “Library!” he called out. “Stop being mean! Help her out!”
Which meant that there was only one thing to do be done.
She had to provoke them. She had to take control.
That was what she’d been training for all these months, wasn’t it? It wasn’t for Gohvis’ sake. She didn’t care one whit about helping him “study their link” or whatever nonsense he’d spouted before.
She just wanted to feel some semblance of power over her own life again.
Her sweet Papa had offered her some of that, hadn’t he? When he certainly didn’t have to. The marriage offer that he’d turned down. She knew about it. He’d done that for her sake. To let her make her own decisions.
Oh, Papa...
Why had her mind gone to him now? Even with all the anger boiling up inside her, the heartache she felt was still there, as strong as ever. Lakefire, maybe even stronger.
She longed to see everyone again, but especially him. Moisture attacked her eyes, but she held it at bay.
The other half of her mind was staying focused, though. On her goal. On her foremost desire.
But where were her legs taking her? Her pace had quickened, somehow, and yet she still did not know where she was going? Did she even have a direction? Did she need one?
Yes. Yes, she did. And she knew it. Felt it.
There was a room ahead. Two halls down and on the right. On the other side of a wall. But this stone--agh, it was in the way. Was there no doorway? She felt all along the flat gray surface, feeling a frustration that she could not articulate. This stupid Library. Playing tricks. Making mazes.
“Having trouble?” came Ibai’s voice again, causing Emiliana to turn and see him following her, along with Chergoa.
Her voice was catching, though. The words didn’t want to come out. Or maybe she didn’t even know the right ones in the first place. Just anger.
He didn’t ask what she was doing. Bless him for not asking that. She wouldn’t have been able to answer. Instead, he stepped up beside her and touched the wall, too. “Library!” he called out. “Stop being mean! Help her out!”
Tuesday, November 4, 2025
Monday, November 3, 2025
Page 3977
Was that really the truth, though? Frankly, she’d never quite believed those teachings. Those things always seemed like relics of a bygone era.
And yet, here and now, she felt it in her heart. A desire for it to be true.
Maybe that made no difference. Maybe she was just being irrational. In fact, she probably was. But it still made tears well up in her eyes, and she buried her face in her hands as she tried to avoid thinking about it any further. To avoid weeping outright.
The claws of her hands made it difficult to touch her own face. She had to move just so, otherwise she’d scratch herself. But at least--
Wait a minute. Her hands? Both of them?
She blinked through the moisture as she saw that, yes, they both had claws on them now. Where before, it only been one, now it was both.
She’d mutated again. Unconsciously.
Her worst fear. Realized.
‘Easy now,’ came Chergoa’s voice. She’d been saying things before, but the words were only registering now. ‘It’s okay, Emi. You’re just fine.’
And Emiliana didn’t want to acknowledge it, but the reaper’s voice was indeed soothing. Helping her not to panic.
There was no reason to, after all. She’d been through this before.
And really, wasn’t this part of the reason why she’d been stuck in this wretched Library so long? Because she couldn’t control it properly?
In a manner of speaking, yes. That made perfect sense to her. If she’d been able to control it, then Gohvis would have been able to complete his study of their weird link by now, right? And then he would’ve let her go, assuming he hadn’t been lying about that.
Which, okay, was maybe a big assumption, but in this particular moment, she shoved that notion to the side. It didn’t fit into this narrative that was forming in her mind. The narrative that was, for the first time in a while, allowing her to feel something new, something other than worry. Or fear. Or sadness. Or homesickness.
Instead, it was allowing her to feel anger.
Maybe that wasn’t better, but it was at least new. Refreshing. And welcome.
She found herself on her feet. Unsteady, but on them. And she was walking. Where to? No idea. No plan for that. She was still staring at her hands. Focusing on them. On the unprovoked changes in them.
And yet, here and now, she felt it in her heart. A desire for it to be true.
Maybe that made no difference. Maybe she was just being irrational. In fact, she probably was. But it still made tears well up in her eyes, and she buried her face in her hands as she tried to avoid thinking about it any further. To avoid weeping outright.
The claws of her hands made it difficult to touch her own face. She had to move just so, otherwise she’d scratch herself. But at least--
Wait a minute. Her hands? Both of them?
She blinked through the moisture as she saw that, yes, they both had claws on them now. Where before, it only been one, now it was both.
She’d mutated again. Unconsciously.
Her worst fear. Realized.
‘Easy now,’ came Chergoa’s voice. She’d been saying things before, but the words were only registering now. ‘It’s okay, Emi. You’re just fine.’
And Emiliana didn’t want to acknowledge it, but the reaper’s voice was indeed soothing. Helping her not to panic.
There was no reason to, after all. She’d been through this before.
And really, wasn’t this part of the reason why she’d been stuck in this wretched Library so long? Because she couldn’t control it properly?
In a manner of speaking, yes. That made perfect sense to her. If she’d been able to control it, then Gohvis would have been able to complete his study of their weird link by now, right? And then he would’ve let her go, assuming he hadn’t been lying about that.
Which, okay, was maybe a big assumption, but in this particular moment, she shoved that notion to the side. It didn’t fit into this narrative that was forming in her mind. The narrative that was, for the first time in a while, allowing her to feel something new, something other than worry. Or fear. Or sadness. Or homesickness.
Instead, it was allowing her to feel anger.
Maybe that wasn’t better, but it was at least new. Refreshing. And welcome.
She found herself on her feet. Unsteady, but on them. And she was walking. Where to? No idea. No plan for that. She was still staring at her hands. Focusing on them. On the unprovoked changes in them.
Sunday, November 2, 2025
Page 3976
And she’d found quite a bit, hadn’t she? Doorways. Pathways. A maze, even.
And Gohvis had been there, too, at first. He’d helped her understand what she was seeing.
‘This is a representation of your unconscious mind,’ he’d told her. ‘A construct of the self. Only you can comprehend it. Even as I stand here with you, I see little more than indecipherable noise. But given time, and enough meditative training, you will come to know this place quite intimately. And it may also prove tremendously useful in the harnessing of your power.’
After that, he hadn’t stuck around much longer, even when she started asking him questions. He’d simply told her that this was her journey to take and that he could not help her along it any further.
Then... she’d wandered. Through herself. Through her memories. Her life. Her emotions. Her desires. Her hopes.
For how long?
Endlessly, it felt like. Beyond that, she had no sense of the time that had transpired.
She’d gotten lost, she realized. Yes. Hence her inability to pull herself out of it.
So Gohvis was blameless, then?
Hmm. She wondered about that. Had he known she would get lost?
Impossible to know. Perhaps she would ask him at the next opportunity, though she wasn’t sure there was much point.
But there was something else in there. In her memories of that lost period. She’d wandered so long. So far afield. Beyond, perhaps?
Beyond?
Beyond what?
Beyond herself. Beyond her own mind. Her own life.
Yes. She was remembering now. There’d been so much more, hadn’t there? Things she’d never seen. Never felt. Never experienced.
Things that hadn’t belonged to her.
Memories that hadn’t belonged to her.
Her eyes eased back open. When had she closed them? She was holding her head with one hand. When had she started doing that?
Chergoa was saying something. Asking after her well-being, perhaps. Emiliana was only half-understanding.
Her mind was too preoccupied to pay that much attention to the reaper and Ibai, right now.
She was recalling the fullness of her experience in that strange space. The construct of her mind.
Madega trees. So much of what she’d seen was still a blur, but those were recurring. With their teal leaves. And the comfortably high water in which they always stood. Yes. Always comfortable. Never otherwise.
Even now, she wished to see one again. Right now. The one standing in their home. The family estate in Aguarey.
Oh, what she would give to be there this very instant.
But no. She was here, instead. On the other side of the world. Where she did not belong.
Where her ancestors struggled to see her.
And Gohvis had been there, too, at first. He’d helped her understand what she was seeing.
‘This is a representation of your unconscious mind,’ he’d told her. ‘A construct of the self. Only you can comprehend it. Even as I stand here with you, I see little more than indecipherable noise. But given time, and enough meditative training, you will come to know this place quite intimately. And it may also prove tremendously useful in the harnessing of your power.’
After that, he hadn’t stuck around much longer, even when she started asking him questions. He’d simply told her that this was her journey to take and that he could not help her along it any further.
Then... she’d wandered. Through herself. Through her memories. Her life. Her emotions. Her desires. Her hopes.
For how long?
Endlessly, it felt like. Beyond that, she had no sense of the time that had transpired.
She’d gotten lost, she realized. Yes. Hence her inability to pull herself out of it.
So Gohvis was blameless, then?
Hmm. She wondered about that. Had he known she would get lost?
Impossible to know. Perhaps she would ask him at the next opportunity, though she wasn’t sure there was much point.
But there was something else in there. In her memories of that lost period. She’d wandered so long. So far afield. Beyond, perhaps?
Beyond?
Beyond what?
Beyond herself. Beyond her own mind. Her own life.
Yes. She was remembering now. There’d been so much more, hadn’t there? Things she’d never seen. Never felt. Never experienced.
Things that hadn’t belonged to her.
Memories that hadn’t belonged to her.
Her eyes eased back open. When had she closed them? She was holding her head with one hand. When had she started doing that?
Chergoa was saying something. Asking after her well-being, perhaps. Emiliana was only half-understanding.
Her mind was too preoccupied to pay that much attention to the reaper and Ibai, right now.
She was recalling the fullness of her experience in that strange space. The construct of her mind.
Madega trees. So much of what she’d seen was still a blur, but those were recurring. With their teal leaves. And the comfortably high water in which they always stood. Yes. Always comfortable. Never otherwise.
Even now, she wished to see one again. Right now. The one standing in their home. The family estate in Aguarey.
Oh, what she would give to be there this very instant.
But no. She was here, instead. On the other side of the world. Where she did not belong.
Where her ancestors struggled to see her.
Saturday, November 1, 2025
Page 3975
‘Stop blabbering and give her something to eat already,’ said Chergoa. And she motioned to the right, where a pile of wrapped confections was waiting on a small table.
“Oh, right!” Ibai blinked across the short distance with his brown shadow, and by the time Emiliana even registered the change in his position, he was already in front of her again, offering a plate to her. “Sorry about the selection. Would’ve had something made fresh for you, but uh. I wasn’t actually sure that I would succeed this time, so I didn’t want the food to go to waste, just in case.”
‘We’ll visit the cafeteria next,’ said Chergoa.
Indeed, Emiliana’s stomach pain had not abated, and the treats in front of her were already making her mouth water. Was that a chocolate muffin? Oh god. She grabbed and unwrapped it in a hurry.
‘Don’t eat too fast,’ said the reaper, grabbing her shoulder and making the vigor run through Emiliana’s body. ‘It’s better if I don’t have to use this too much during your recovery. Otherwise, it’ll take longer.’
Emiliana tried to do as the reaper said, but it was difficult. She focused the other half of her attention on the questions she should be asking. Clarification. She needed clarification. “So... what exactly happened to me?”
“Oh, you were put into a state of suppressed consciousness,” said Ibai. “A kind of super deep sleep that you can’t wake up from on your own. I believe that this--and a few other, similar conditions--have been historically bunched into the general term of ‘sleeping sickness.’”
‘Yeah,’ added Chergoa. ‘I’ve seen it a fair few times over the years, though it’s always hard to gauge what I’m looking at.’
Emiliana had to finish chewing before speaking up again. “...What do you mean I was ‘put’ into it?”
Ibai backed up a few steps and bobbed his head a little. “Well, okay, that’s largely conjecture on my part. I’m guessing that Gohvis decided to induce your sleeping sickness while he was away, but I don’t know for sure. Maybe it really was coincidental. If your memory is still intact from your ‘meditation,’ then maybe he really didn’t do it.”
Her memory? She had to concentrate in order to think back. The meditation. It had certainly felt different from her previous training regimens.
But... it wasn’t a complete blank, now that she was focusing on it. Yeah. It had been about multi-tasking. Creating new divisions in her mind. Looking deeply within herself from multiple angles.
“Oh, right!” Ibai blinked across the short distance with his brown shadow, and by the time Emiliana even registered the change in his position, he was already in front of her again, offering a plate to her. “Sorry about the selection. Would’ve had something made fresh for you, but uh. I wasn’t actually sure that I would succeed this time, so I didn’t want the food to go to waste, just in case.”
‘We’ll visit the cafeteria next,’ said Chergoa.
Indeed, Emiliana’s stomach pain had not abated, and the treats in front of her were already making her mouth water. Was that a chocolate muffin? Oh god. She grabbed and unwrapped it in a hurry.
‘Don’t eat too fast,’ said the reaper, grabbing her shoulder and making the vigor run through Emiliana’s body. ‘It’s better if I don’t have to use this too much during your recovery. Otherwise, it’ll take longer.’
Emiliana tried to do as the reaper said, but it was difficult. She focused the other half of her attention on the questions she should be asking. Clarification. She needed clarification. “So... what exactly happened to me?”
“Oh, you were put into a state of suppressed consciousness,” said Ibai. “A kind of super deep sleep that you can’t wake up from on your own. I believe that this--and a few other, similar conditions--have been historically bunched into the general term of ‘sleeping sickness.’”
‘Yeah,’ added Chergoa. ‘I’ve seen it a fair few times over the years, though it’s always hard to gauge what I’m looking at.’
Emiliana had to finish chewing before speaking up again. “...What do you mean I was ‘put’ into it?”
Ibai backed up a few steps and bobbed his head a little. “Well, okay, that’s largely conjecture on my part. I’m guessing that Gohvis decided to induce your sleeping sickness while he was away, but I don’t know for sure. Maybe it really was coincidental. If your memory is still intact from your ‘meditation,’ then maybe he really didn’t do it.”
Her memory? She had to concentrate in order to think back. The meditation. It had certainly felt different from her previous training regimens.
But... it wasn’t a complete blank, now that she was focusing on it. Yeah. It had been about multi-tasking. Creating new divisions in her mind. Looking deeply within herself from multiple angles.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)