There had always been an understanding between the two of them that some things were simply... private. That they did not need to be shared, much less delved into fully.
Memories of intimacy, for example. When Zeff thought of his late wife, Mariana, there were certainly things there that he did not particularly wish to share with Axiolis. And so of course, there were going to be similar instances for the reaper, who’d lived an almost unfathomably long life. He suspected this was the case for virtually every hyper-capable pairing of reaper and servant in the world.
If Axiolis did not wish to share something with him, then that was perfectly fine and fair, Zeff felt.
Unless there was some other reason for it. Something less personal. Something more troubling.
Zeff couldn’t quite pin down what that might be, though. It was just another vague feeling in his mind. Another muted worry for the ever-increasing pile.
If he allowed such concerns to drive his thinking too much, he knew that he would only drive himself mad. Or. Further mad, perhaps.
He’d reached a peculiar state of mind. This calmness from his meditations. This steadiness. It felt almost artificial in nature. A mask that he was wearing. Trying to fool even himself.
And maybe it was even working a bit? He was a fool, certainly. He’d come to understand that quite clearly by now. So what was wrong with simply... letting it be so? Accepting it? If only a little?
Trapped as he was, what other option did he have? Raging hadn’t accomplished anything thus far. This way, he could think more clearly.
Theoretically, at least. Was it helping with the task of searching through Axiolis’ memories? Of learning yet more about his ancestors? He hoped so, but he wasn’t sure.
Agam Elroy had become a frequent focus again. Knowing of Agam’s connection to Graves and Bernardino Blackburn--of the supposed “quest” that the three of them had once ventured upon together--Zeff had been hoping to uncover some great revelation, but even now, Axiolis had no direct memory of such a thing.
But of course, Agam had lived a very long life--as had Bernardino--and there had been plenty of opportunity for such an adventure to occur without Axiolis’ knowledge. Graves had mentioned “Little Dino Blackburn,” which implied that it would have occurred while Bernardino was still quite young.
No comments:
Post a Comment