tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post3307128206630517882..comments2024-03-25T22:06:48.964-04:00Comments on The Zombie Knight Saga: Page 12George M. Frosthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02775956087855415064noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-74195750030865325892015-01-27T22:32:05.767-05:002015-01-27T22:32:05.767-05:00Dang this mc is annoyingDang this mc is annoyingkooGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-22618371058307203882014-08-05T05:21:47.115-04:002014-08-05T05:21:47.115-04:00Last line was great.Last line was great.Blaednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-32247990180629431902014-03-31T00:08:45.716-04:002014-03-31T00:08:45.716-04:00I suspect it is on purpose. Further reading will s...I suspect it is on purpose. Further reading will show Frost is no stranger to genuine psychology.Z.n. Singernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-36183295385222042432014-03-30T20:55:32.024-04:002014-03-30T20:55:32.024-04:00I agree. As I read the ellipses, I can see Hector...I agree. As I read the ellipses, I can see Hector's facial muscles work overtime as he struggles to communicate. I gave to ask, Mister Frost, did you intend Hector to seem a bit Asperger's? As a behaviorist specializing in the Autism Spectrum, I must say he seems to be. I anticipate that soon he'll be showing his need for social justice. Such a character can make an unexpectedly good hero...RandAnimanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-58116170641065703542014-01-19T21:38:03.284-05:002014-01-19T21:38:03.284-05:00*nods* As I'd said earlier, I'd got the pe...*nods* As I'd said earlier, I'd got the personality bit as soon as Garovel observed the pattern and made its deliberate nature clear. Punctuation can communicate many things beyond their basic function, personally I'd commend you understanding that. It fit in with other pieces: how quiet he is, his mannerisms, the snapshot of his life you so effectively portrayed a few pages back. It's a slow burner, your character building, but in all the good ways.<br /><br /><br />I wonder what affect being a hero will have on his self-esteem long term, mmm? A juicy bit of character development in that. I have the feeling you didn't miss it.Z.n. Singernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-45028437293251399432013-12-23T09:23:53.178-05:002013-12-23T09:23:53.178-05:00Argh thus far I really can't stand Hector. The...Argh thus far I really can't stand Hector. The premise is interesting so I'm continuing but if he didn't become less annoying, fast...Miranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-75094869188993886182013-09-28T05:56:19.974-04:002013-09-28T05:56:19.974-04:00This is a point of contention for me, actually. I&...This is a point of contention for me, actually. I'm certainly aware that a lot of people frown upon "overuse" of the ellipsis like this, but I hope you won't be offended when I say that I'm of the opinion that those folks don't really know what they're talking about. And I think this story demonstrates why. <br /><br />As the text draws on, you'll probably notice that the ellipsis are serving another, quieter function than simply "pauses in speech." It's most clear with Hector. He pauses all the time. It's just how he talks. But it's also more just pausing, as well. There's constant hesitation there. He's uncertain of his words, even afraid of them. <br /><br />I think the difference shows even in the example that you give here. Removing the ellipses would change Hector's entire mannerism. It would make him sound more sure of himself. It's not about making the pause "adequate" for the reader or anyone else. It's an important part of his characterization. Granted, there are times when Hector speaks without any ellipses at all, and that's because he is, for those brief times, speaking a bit more normally. But more often than not, he does speak with a certain timidity. George M. Frosthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02775956087855415064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731978491355560966.post-23468081239954766512013-09-28T05:04:48.010-04:002013-09-28T05:04:48.010-04:00Loved the last line here. Great bit of foreshadow...Loved the last line here. Great bit of foreshadowing. Here's an example of what I mean about those pesky ellipses:<br /><br />“That’s it...? It was just coincidence that you picked me...?”<br /><br />In this line, you could just use: "That's it? It was just a coincidence that you picked me?" The question marks themselves provide the adequate pause making the ellipses unnecessary. I'll stop harping on it now.<br /><br />Scott Scherr<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com