Friday, October 10, 2014

Page 851

He fled. It would have been nice to capture Horatio, especially considering their files didn’t have much information on him, but Dimas would probably need to use pan-moc in order to do so, and it was much too early into the siege to be going all out. If he didn’t conserve his strength, he and Iziol would end up too exhausted to fight when they were truly needed. ‘Were you able to analyze Horatio’s ability?

No,’ said Iziol, apparently focused on their mission again. ‘There was too little to go on. I would need to see what else he can do with it.

From his vantage point above, Dimas could see more Blackburns pouring out of Marshrock from different places. No doubt, Carlos and Lorenzo would be in need of his assistance very soon. He dove back down to go look for them.


The ground above them trembled, and trails of twinkling dust shook loose from the freshly materialized ceiling.

Sounds like the battle has started,’ said Garovel privately.

Their underground party numbered eight strong. Him and the three Najirs, along with four Rainlords--two destruction users for the tunneling and two integration users for the construction of the net.

Hector had carefully slung his shield over his back, positioned low so that it couldn’t accidentally touch his bare neck and cause the pain that Sazandara had warned him about. It felt a little awkward there, but as long as he didn’t need to sit down, he figured he’d be fine.

All things considered, Hector wasn’t sure how much use he would be here. If they got attacked, the onus of protecting them would largely fall upon Lord Asad. But then, he supposed that was nothing new to him. It seemed like he was always relying on better fighters to do the real work. Hector just hoped he’d be able to find some small way of helping.

Asad also decided to handle the maintenance of the tunnel. Mushy didn’t even begin to describe the ground here, and Hector could see veins of muddy water through the transparent ceiling and walls--which Asad made from crystallized quartz, according to Garovel’s assessment.

They’d only just begun, but so far, progress seemed smooth. Flashlight in hand, Hector looked at his copy of the map, which said that their first checkpoint was located fifty meters from where they’d started. The net itself would form a rough circle beneath a section of the city, capturing not just Marshrock but also a few of the neighborhoods around it. One of the other tunneling parties would have to go through a river, Hector noticed. He didn’t envy that group.


  1. Missing a B in bonus.

  2. No, onus is the correct word, meaning 'duty or responsibility' - in this case, Asad is responsible for protecting them all.

  3. Now, I'm wondering whether Asad uses predominantly quartz or predominantly granular silica (sand) when fighting. Quartz would be more conventional, and pierce and block better, but sand is a little unconventional and though it wouldn't insta-kill servants, it would be deadly to reapers and make it really hard to see properly.

  4. Somebody mentioned a while ago that "pan rozum" is Polish for "master mind." I looked, and in the same language, "pan forma" means "master form" and "pan moc" means "master power."

  5. Couldn't Hector just coat the shield in a film of iron and not have to worry about it?

  6. My guess would be that he mostly uses solid quartz and glass for attacking, but also uses a lot of dust smokescreens.

  7. Ooh, that's a good idea.

  8. Probably. Now you're thinking with portals! Hector, however, still doesn't. Plus, if he needs it in a hurry, he can get to it easily as it is. If it touches him, he'll feel a ridiculous amount of pain anyway, and he can coat his skin in iron to knock it away.

  9. I think pan moc will ratchet passive and active soul defence up to ridiculous levels, perhaps? Or spill the soul into everything around, nullifying other servant abilities in a range? Something to do with the soul, anyway, seeing as we've already covered mind (ability) and body (form).
    Though it is odd that only elemental servants can use pan-forma. I'm not sure where the logic for that is.

  10. I doubt that there are only the three hyper states. For one thing, the category-blending concept of pan-rozum is way to interesting to only have one state for it (for instance, that reply to you that I moved to Abilities posits a state that allows elemental servants to control their energy emissions via alteration), and for another, the ones we've seen haven't been all that fair in terms of what categories get how many options.

    The pan-forma thing does puzzle me, though. I asked Frost if perhaps he meant to say "transfiguration and mutation", but he never answered.

  11. Space Marine BeckaOctober 10, 2014 at 8:19 PM

    Heyup, Mr Frost. I wrote a review of your story here

  12. Your last sentence also describes a chainsaw blade, and you'll never see a chainsaw sold without a blade cover.

  13. The average chainsaw user isn't immortal and capable of recovering from literally any injury. Or as disregarding of his own safety as Hector. What I'm saying is, Hector has different priorities than the average lumberjack.

  14. First of all, thank you for the review.

    However, I'm not sure I understand it. You say at the end that TZK is good despite its "issues"--as in multiple--yet you only mentioned one thing that you actually disliked about it.

    As for the occasional inclusions of Earthly people/companies/tv shows, I can see why they might bother you. I do have my reasons for them, though. For instance, I mentioned both Pontiac and Porsche simply because I could use the those names to replace the monotany of the word "car" with resorting to vacuous and extraneous description. If I'd made up fictional car companies, the reder would've required me to explain that they were car companies, which would've defeated my intended purpose of efficiency unless said car companies have some greater relevance to the narrative, like Revenant motorcycles do.

    Additionally, there's no real justification for why a company called Porsche or a show called He-Man or a man named Johannes Gutenberg couldn't possibly exist on Eleg. However, similarities between our cultures might help explain why we share a lot of the same values as Elegians--or at least Atreyans.

    On an unrelated note, Porsche is a German company, not Italian.

    Hope that helps, since it seems like you're looking to do reviews with some regularity. Feedback for your feedback, I suppose.

  15. "...pouring out of Marshrock from different place."
    should that be "a different place" or "different places"?
    I love this story so far. You've put a lot of effort into both world building and character building, Mr Frost, and for that I give you kudos and a full turkey dinner. And pie.

  16. Fixed now, thank you. Glad you're enjoying. :)

  17. Space Marine BeckaOctober 13, 2014 at 3:12 AM

    :-D Thanks for the response. I can see the logic of why you are doing it but it still gives me issues. It's not impossible that their culture reflects ours to the point of pop culture and brands it's just unlikely and while it just grates on me some readers are going be thrown right out of the story. (Hence my reference to the infamous bales of hay in medieval fantasy thing - some people get immensely offended by them but most people just shrug if they even notice).

    Now why did I think Porsche was Italian? *corrects*.

  18. *Mutters something about forests and trees, stomps off*

  19. Actually if he had it incased in iron somehow strapped to his body he could annhilate just enough iron so that the shield would fall onto his body allowing him instant access to it. Though cumbersome to carry/wear.

  20. "That information, Dimas could appreciate. Dimas fled."
    That's the last sentence of the previous page and the first one of this page. This just sounds utterly strange, using his name in two consecutive sentences like this. Sure, they're different pages, but it's technically still one continuous chapter and when read as such, the two sentences sound weird.