Friday, August 8, 2014

Page 779

Vanessa eyed her son for a long moment, debating whether or not she wanted to respond. She decided against it.

Hector didn’t seem to appreciate her silence. His annoyed stare was something she had become well-acquainted with during their few recent encounters. “I came to see if there was anything you needed before I leave,” he said.

The lack of hesitation in his voice did not escape Vanessa’s notice. He was telling her that he was going to leave the country. Telling her. Not asking for permission. Not even hoping for approval, by the sound of it.

He was changing. She could see it with each new visit he paid her. The young Lord Goffe. It seemed like he was genuinely starting to believe himself worthy of the title.

How ridiculous everything had become.

“I don’t need anything from you,” she said blankly.

That wasn’t enough to get him to leave, however. “...How have you been doing? Mr. Easton said you haven’t left this room in almost a week.”

Her eyes glazed over. “It’s comfortable.”

“Mom, I... I worry about you.”

Her eyes narrowed at him. Her impulse was to ask why, but she already knew what he would say. The same thing as before--because she was his mother and because he loved her.

And she did not wish to hear that again.

It made no sense whatsoever. How could he love her? After everything that had happened, everything she’d said to him, how the hell could that be possible?

She’d always found it strange. Mothers were supposed to feel something different for their children, weren’t they? Maternal instinct? Where was hers? She’d never felt it. From the moment she first realized she was pregnant, she’d kept expecting something to change, some switch to be flipped inside of her. She thought, surely, she would be able to feel it when she held him in her arms for the first time. It was the only thing that let her endure those nine horrific months. But no. All she’d felt was relief that it was finally over. And afterward, she thought it might come when he took his first steps. Or when he could feed himself. Or dress himself. Or go to school on his own.

But nothing. Not really. He was just some child. No different from anyone else’s. The only distinction was that she had a societal obligation to this one. So she pretended. She played the role as best as she was able.

12 comments:

  1. wowwww... she is a total bitch..... how can someone not feel anything for hector??? I love that guy!!!

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  2. Wow she played the role the best she could, well it wasn't very good leaving a kid by himslef for over a month is quite honest ridiculous. Even when faked her ability should be better than that.

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  3. you should adopt him he is not 18 yet.

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  4. Space Marine BeckaAugust 9, 2014 at 5:07 AM

    Not every mother feels a bond to their kid. That in and of itself is not an issue. She sounds like she had postpartum depression since disrupting maternal bonding is one of its most insidious effects. Actually she sounds like she may have standard depression (though having lost her husband that's not surprising but I think all along).

    Being neglectful, however, is an issue. You don't mislay your kids. Your don't fail to give your kids the social stimulation they need to grow into confident adults. Hector's crippling social anxiety may well be down to this neglect. Faking love is probably a bit of a big thing to expect but they shouldn't have had to fake general human concern for a fellow human being. If they couldn't - Samuel was ill (even if he was playing it up to avoid Hector) and, as I mentioned, Vanessa may have been depressed - then they should have asked for help.

    They didn't and now she blames Hector for her feeling miserable. She really needs hitting with a clue bat at this point.

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  5. Tempting tempting, except im only 18, soon 19 lol, it would be a bit weird haha

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  6. Adopted siblings then make a blood oath

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  7. *cricket sound*

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  8. A thousand internets to you. That's the best comment about Hector's parents ever. They definitely have psychological issues of their own and that's terrible, but it doesn't justify what they did to Hector. Are there no therapists in Atreya?

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  9. Seems like alot of the problem on this webnovel could be fixed with a therapist, we need a servant that can materialize Sigmund Freud

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  10. I agree with a lot of Space Marine Becka,s points, however, I have to add the fact that some people simply do not have the normal range of empathy. It could be genetic or the result of something traumatic or something while they were growing up kept them from learning empathy fully. People aren't born with empathy. It seems like she at the very least tried or hoped to care about Hector but it just never happened.

    She doesn't get a free pass from me though. I still hate her.

    Mr Frost you are amazing, you write characters that we can get so emotionally invested in :D

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